Tell the children the truth.
Tell them that although these two were not married in the Church, they were a husband and wife nonetheless (common law is nonetheless still law), and she is going to have a baby. We are happy that there is going to be a baby! A baby is a blessing from God!
Tell them that there is a problem: this poor woman is scared and frightened because her husband did not want God’s blessing, her husband did not want this baby.
(How could he not want this baby? How he could not want God’s blessing? We ALWAYS wanted YOU! It just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense…)
Tell them that it is a very sad thing, but sometimes it happens in this world: her husband looked like a grown up, but he just really wasn’t grown up enough at all to be anybody’s daddy…
and you’ve got to be VERY grown up to be somebody’s daddy!
A baby isn’t like a toy you can get bored with and just leave on the floor… you have got to be VERY grown up to be somebody’s daddy!
…and so the mommy is very very sad… sad enough to cry herself to sleep every night.
She is also very very scared… scared about being a mommy all by herself with no daddy!
It is sad and lonely and scarey for her to be a mommy all by herself with no daddy…
Tell them that because she is very sad and very scared it probably is not a very good idea to ask about him because it would probably make her cry.
We don’t want to make her cry. She as been crying enough already.
It isn’t easy to be a mommy all by herself with no daddy, and so she is very sad and very scared and it is very important for everybody, absolutely everybody, to help her and her baby.
We need everybody to help.
We need everybody to open the door and make room for her and pick up the toys so she won’t trip over them and make sure she has a place to sit down and that she knows that we are happy to see her, and that we are happy that she is going to have a baby, and we have to make sure that she has plenty of good food to eat and water to drink, because the baby is very small inside her but growing very fast!
We want to smile at her and play nicely around her and let her know that we love her and pray for her and the baby and we think that she will be a good mother!
We all need to help her and her baby. We all need to help her be very strong and very brave and be a good mother.
We also need to understand that sometimes married couples cannot have any children of their own or they had a baby who died and so they are very sad because they have no children. Sometimes they will ask a mommy without a daddy if she would give them her baby to love and raise and be their very own baby. Sometimes a mommy with no daddy will give her baby to a very sad married couple with no children because she feels in her heart that they will be better parents for her baby than she would be all by herself. Sometimes you will meet kids at school who will tell you that they were “adopted.” That is what “adopted” means. You were not adopted.
We all need to show her that we love her and pray for her and that she doesn’t have to be sad, and she doesn’t have to be scared because we will do all we can to help her and her baby.
We all need to show her that if she decides to let a married couple adopt her baby to be their own, that we will understand and pray that they will be wonderful parents for the baby.
We all need to show her that if she decides to raise this baby all by herself with no daddy, that we will all do everything we can to help her and her baby.
Children who understand, love, hug, accept, encourage, play with, and bless a pregnant woman can be the greatest gift on the face of the earth that helps empower her to be… a mother.