For those of you who expressed concern for my marriage or perhaps prayed for me, I want to thank you.
Fastforward one month ahead, I am taking something to regulate my harmones and help me sleep better and it has had a huge impact on my outlook and attitude towards my husband. It has helped considerably to alleviate my postpartum depression and I've only been on the herbs for 2 weeks. PM me if you would like to know what they are.
DH and I are coming closer again and turning towards eachother again; much like before I was pregnant with my son. He is ending is phone calls with words like, "bye sweetie" or "I love you". DH has been offering to help with the children and has been playing with them every night in the last month. He has been bonding with my son so much and my son now wants to be with him all the time.
Quite frankly, I think I was so difficult to be around that DH was avoiding me and now that I'm happier, his mood has changed for the better also. I am the glue that keeps my family happy and if I'm not happy, then my husband seems to fall apart. I am only just beginning to understand this family dynamic. When my husband says something negative to me, I am able to bite my tongue and give him a look and he backs down right away.
I have also noticed that my son is a lot more fun to be around and I am finally falling in-love with him.
I think my PPD is finally lifting and I am able to finally see the joy in my vocation again. I felt so lost and alone, but I finally feel thankful to have such a beautiful family. I actually want to spend time with my husband as a family again and I can now put more effort into bringing us together as a family again.
I'm still not 100% back to myself, but I'm definitely closer to being 90% better.