UR study examines newlyweds


#1

UR study examines newlyweds

Goal is to learn why some find bliss while others fight battles

Lauren Stanforth
Staff writer

(December 26, 2005) — For some newlyweds, every day brings a new understanding of their partners, a chance to learn and grow, nurture each other, pursue goals together.

For others, it’s World War III if the cap is left off the toothpaste. A new University of Rochester study hopes to explain why new marriage is so blissful for some and such a battle for others

“It boils down to what you learned in kindergarten: You need to be nice to each other,”

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…must be my DH and I knew how to be nice in kindergarten…:smiley:


#2

From the article:

[quote=]Rogge said too many married people act like singles, thinking only about what they want and need instead of being considerate of their partners.

“America has been drifting toward a culture of entitlement, ‘What can you give me? What can you do for me?’” Rogge said. “Good relationships, even the best relationships, take work, take selflessness.”
[/quote]

Contrast that with this excerpt from Humanae Vitae:

I’ll choose the latter any day! :slight_smile:


#3

just listen to pop love songs, over and over the message is “you have something I need and want, that is why I love you” -

“this relationship is all about me, my needs, my desires, my pleasure, you are just a thing to me, one of any number of people who can cater to my desires”

“you aren’t meeting my needs so its over, baby”

“I feel, I want, I desire, I react, I I I”


#4

This rings true. Early on, DH and I decided that we weren’t going to be one of those couples who “solves” everything with a screaming match, who treats each other with disrespect or contempt, or who insults each other to our faces or to friends (DH especially has friends who do this behind their wives’ backs). Two-and-a-half years later, it hasn’t always been easy, but most of it has been happy, and neither of us has any regrets.

We’re a team, we’re in this for the long haul. Why would we want to risk that with an “every man for himself” mentality?


#5

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