Utter confussion accopanied by fear


Hello everyone,
I have a question about finding one’s vocation. I have been on a wild ride the last 5 years as I have been discerning God’s will for my life. I have prayed about my vocation for quite a long time but I have not yet been able to understand His will for my life in any certain terms. Recently, it has only been harder as I believe I am going through some sort of Dark Night of the Soul and prayer has become almost painful for me.
I began discerning a religious vocation in high school but ceased doing so the summer before my freshman year as I began to feel drawn towards Marriage and realized that community life would be highly difficult for me. Flash forward two years and I just ended a (non-defined) relationship with a young man. I am so confused however, because I truly believe I would make a wonderful wife and mother, but at the same time I have this almost instinctual feeling that God will not allow me to marry. (Every man I start getting to know ends up having nothing to do with me right when we start to get close/ become friends.) However, this conflicts with my conviction that God has brought men into my life for the purpose one day marrying them. (Am I naive for saying that?)
Currently, I feel conflicted as to what Vocation God is calling me to. I feel guilty sometime for trying to discern marriage but I often find peace thinking about one day being a wife and mother. One second I believe he is calling me to Religious Life and the next I believe he is calling me to marriage.
What are the signs one may be called to marriage (besides already being in a relationship)?
And what are some signs that one is NOT called to the religious life?

I hope answers to these two questions may help me discern my vocation better as they are not commonly answered on any other vocation website.
Thank you! :o


You need a spiritual director to help you sort through the confusion. If you don’t have one call and ask your priest if he can recommend someone (if he is too busy).


Okay, good to know. Thank you!


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