I was (sort of) open to more children, but know that I’m having a hard enough time being a good Dad to the three I have.
My wife was dead set against having more children.
My wife refused to engage in sex unless I had a vasectomy. I knew it was wrong, and argued against it. I did a little research on NFP and started to talk to her about it, but she didn’t show any interest. Then, I lost my backbone, got lazy about it, and didn’t pursue it further. I stalled, and stalled, and stalled, and should have asked then for help with fortitude.
Eventually, I gave in and had the vasectomy, knowing it was totally wrong. I haven’t gone to confession, yet, but I know I have to, but I’m feeling not-very-worthy of forgiveness under the circumstances.
I don’t even know what to ask at this point, I’m just looking for someone to say something.


I don’t know what to tell you except I am sorry you have a spouse who encouraged you to mutilate yourself for her satisfaction.

You NEED to go to confession ASAP. Like call now. Don’t type on the internet getting strangers advice, clean your soul. Immediately. Then, if you are still feeling like you are called to do more, you could research reversing it. That may not be necessary but confession is a life and death issue for you right now sir…

The Job of a spouse is to help the other achieve heaven. This is failing in your marriage and is complicated by the emotions and hurt that now exist. I hope you can come to terms with this and heal it and become Holy. Leading your wife to Holiness as well. And perhaps repentance on her part and forgiveness on yours is the only thing that could fix this…

Prayers for you brother…


There’s no such thing as not being worthy of forgiveness. Christ came to heal the sick, remember? Repent and reconcile with God via Sacramental Reconciliation (confession).

If you find yourself feeling especially guilty, you can still practice NFP by abstaining from sex during your wife’s fertile phase, though it wouldn’t be required of you.


Sometimes the operation can be reversed?


Yes, I am surprised this was not covered in the information your doctor gave you. You can talk to your provider about this. But first go to confession. Have you gone yet?


I’d hate to hear what you think about circumcision:eek:.


Yes it can be reversed, at a much greater cost and a very lengthy recovery period. No guarantees it will work, but the effort can be made.

I wonder if exposing your body to the reversal surgery would be considered a sin, as he’s exposing his body to further intrusion?


Circumcision is not grave matter. But I suspect you knew that.


Circumcision is the deliberate mutilation of the penis.

I suspect you knew that.


ok. There are threads on here where you can discuss that.


For that very reason, the Church would not expect him to have the reversal, though he would be free to educate himself on it and make a prudent decision based on sound science as to whether or not to have the reversal procedure (if it could safely be attempted, if he had the finances for it, etc.).


Yes, but it really doesn’t fit the topic. That’s not generally a procedure that one volunteers for himself, like a vasectomy. And it also doesn’t attempt to remove the procreative nature of the marital act. There is also the issue of some parents still being convinced that there is some beneficial medical reason for RIC (routine infant circumcision)…so they think they are actually addressing a medical necessity. It’s a topic that gets pretty heated, but if you’d like to discuss it in another thread, go for it. I’ll join you if I have time. :slight_smile:


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