hope this is in the right category. My wife knows I hang out on the CA forums and asked to to see what y’all think of this challenge she is having.
About 2 years ago we started going to a mission church for Mass because of the reverent way they did things there. Many of the women there veiled. My wife talked to them about why they did this when women’s head coverings had not been required since Vatican II. She then did some research, prayer and discernment and asked me what I thought of her veiling.(I had no opinion, being as it is her decision.)
She has been veiling since then. Her take is that it is a way for her to show modesty and humility in the presence of God.
We are now back at our local church as the adult choir needed a director and my wife has been doing music ministry since she was a teen (we are both in our 60’s). She is well qualified for this position and the local church had a need for a director for the adult choir which is the largest of the four choirs. She has a good rapport with the choir members.
We got a new Pastor about a month ago. He is much more traditional than the previous pastor we had. Everyone was excited but somewhat anxious about what changes he might make. Last week after Mass, he spoke with my wife about the music ministry. One of the things he said was that he wanted he not to veil when she was leading the choir. His reason for this was uniformity. There is only one other woman in the choir who veils of the 7 or 8 regular women members. He also spoke to the 2 women EMHC’s who veil saying the same thing.
At the Mass we attend there are about a dozen women who veil or wear a hat out of 300-400 people who regularly attend that Mass; however Most of those women have some ministry position, Choir, EMHC, Sacristan, or Usher. One of the EMHC’s he spoke to last week has already told him that she did not feel that we needed to be uniform but she would comply with his wishes and cease being an EM.
My wife is very conflicted by this. She was brought up to obey the priest but feels that veiling is something that she is called to do in the Lords presence. She is also very much into music and as I said before, she has been doing this at church for four decades.She was very excited about being asked to be the choir director.
She asked me to post this to see if anyone onCA has any suggestions.