[quote="kittery, post:3, topic:206785"]
It was during an argument. He took today off in order to have a 3 day weekend, and we had planned to go to his brother's house for the weekend. I got sick Friday night and was in bed all day Saturday and was still not feeling good yesterday, but we took the kids to their grandparents house so they could play with their cousins for the day. Then today, I commented that "the house was trashed", and the entire day unraveled from there. I mean, I had been sick and in bed all day Saturday, but he had just let the kids run wild. I made the comment because in that moment, I felt so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work there was in order to just fix a meal.
Reversing the question: did you verbal abuse him? If he resorted to calling you a bad name, it may have been his feeble attempt to defend himself from your verbal attack.
He took a vacation day off from work and planned to visit his brother. You got sick.
Instead of spending his day off as he had planned, he heard about how the house was "trashed" and possible some criticism about his looser parenting style too.
Doesn't he also works hard the rest of the week to provide an income for you and your family, just as you work hard caring for your home and your children? He gave up what he wanted to do on his day off because you were sick, and then you complain that he let the kids run wild and trash the house. That wasn't very nice of you.
You say you made that comment because you were overwhelmed by the sheer amout of work it took to prepare a meal. He probably made that very inappropriate comment he did because he was also overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work he does and did that day.
People get sick, tired and crabby, and they may say inappropriate stuff. He was wrong to call you a bad name. You were wrong to criticize him. Sounds to me like you threw the first verbal insult.
Hindsight: Why the whole family stayed home from the visit with his brother on account of your illness, I don't know. The day might have turned out much better if he'd just taken the kids and gone to his brother's without you. Then you could have recovered alone in the house, while he took care of the kids away from you.
In any case, it sounds like you both had a rough weekend. I hope you're feeling better now. And I suggest that you both take a trip to the Sacrament of Confession next weekend (or sooner).