Very Disappointed

Hey everyone,

I’m writing today simply because I’m very disappointed. I have a friend who for some time seemed very interested in learning about the Catholic Church and has been asking all sorts of questions. She even started going to Adoration! But she has just announced that she really isn’t interested in becoming Catholic. This was her response when I asked about her going to RCIA and said that is the way to “offically” cross the bridge into the Church, like I did. She said she just wants God and is seeking to improve her relationship with Him. I’m still very disappointed and maybe even a little hurt. I guess I have to let go and let God do the rest. I’ll keep answering her questions and encourage her Adoration, etc. and praying for her…

I guess my question for the forums is how do others who’ve been Catholic for longer than I have or even a lifetime, handle the daily disappointment of those we care about rejecting Christ and His Church? Is there a trick to it? What gives? :confused:

I guess what is so surprising is that she seemed so genuinely interested. Now I’m not so sure. She’s from an Anglican background but never really seemed to practice that much either.

I’m going to a Bible study her wants to have in her home. Just us girls getting together to break open the Word. The one actually leading the group is a former Carmelite. I’m hoping it isn’t another disappointment. I don’t know the gal who is going to lead the group, but I’m open for sharing the Word. I know enough to get out if it turns into a recital of “why I left the Catholic Church,” etc. and her intentions are to enlighten me, etc. I hope that isn’t what it turns out to be.

Oh well, pray for me you guys n gals. I might be in for another disappointment.



P.S. I did refer this gal, the Anglican, to this website and left her to ask questions here. I don’t know if she has or not.

Well do as your signature says and pray the rosary! It is a daily struggle. Take her to mass and then let her talk to the priest afterwards.:thumbsup:

A reminder to keep all of us humble - and not discouraged!

"From 1 Corinthians 3:

4 Whenever someone says, “I belong to Paul,” and another, “I belong to Apollos,” are you not merely human?
5 What is Apollos, after all, and what is Paul? Ministers through whom you became believers, just as the Lord assigned each one.
6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God caused the growth.
7 Therefore, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who causes the growth.
8 The one who plants and the one who waters are equal, and each will receive wages in proportion to his labor.
9 For we are God’s co-workers; you are God’s field, God’s building."

Don’t you just LOVE it?

The solution to your dilemma can be found in an acupressure technique: apply equal pressure to both knees, by kneeling on them daily on her behalf. Prayer is all that you and I have. Call down the Holy Spirit upon her. No one has the strength to resist!

Christ’s peace.

p.s. get a free copy of Patrick Madrid’s Search and Rescue. It’s available on his website, or through Envoy Magazine, I believe.

Aint that the truth!

p.s. get a free copy of Patrick Madrid’s Search and Rescue. It’s available on his website, or through Envoy Magazine, I believe.

What is the name of his website?

You don’t know what’s going on with your friend on the inside. Maybe she’s rejected the Church. Maybe she just needs to think about it more. You’ve helped plant a seed, but the Holy Spirit is the one who waters it and helps it grow.

I coordinate the RCIA program in my parish. People will contact the parish to ask about RCIA and I follow up by calling them or e-mailing them. I get voice mail so I leave a message, and then they don’t call back. I call again and leave a message, and a third time. I don’t know what happens to people. Maybe they get up the courage to make that initial contact then get nervous about what they’re getting into.

Sometimes people start RCIA but after a few months they drop out. When I talk with them they usually say they just changed their minds. Maybe they got what they needed in those few months. Maybe they’ll come back again later – I always make sure they know they’d be welcome to come back at any time.

I always feel bad about the people who leave. I pray for them. But ultimately I can’t force them any more than you can force your friend. You can open the door, but it’s up to the Spirit to escort them through it.

Well folks, it is the morning after our Bible study and it turns out it is a very credible one, Jeff Cavin’s Bible Timeline, and the gal leading it is a former IHM and not giving a recital! I was very happy with things and will be attending for another 20 plus weeks, as that is the length of time the actual study goes for. It was a very grace filled experience and I’m sure it will go well for me and those involved.

I appreciated the responses to my disappointment here at the website. Thank you for you kindnesses. Please keep praying for our little group. :thumbsup:



Gail, from how you describe your friend’s response it might be that she is at the “me and God” stage that so many enter into (and never leave) without knowing that one’s encounter with God is meant to be fully lived within the context of His Church. IOW, a “me and God/Jesus” mindset allows one to stay comfortably on the fringes without having to look deeply at oneself and the call to relationship with Christ’s Body.

All you can do is love her and gently encourage her to look beyond her present comfort level. Your prayer for her, of course, will bring you to greater peace and may serve as vessel for her deeper conversion in Christ.

You are an instrument of God helping to lead people on the path not God himself. He wants to draw people to himself and your time with her may be done and she needs a break or a different guide now. At any rate just pray for her.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but I know how you feel and how I deal with it is to remind myself that I am just an instrument God is in charge, and any conversion that takes place is not because of me. I just try to help people and also try to NOT be a reason for them to avoid the church! Im a revert by the way.

Sorry for the delay. I just changed email providers and my spam filter was set at “industrial strength”. It’s fixed now. Here are the links: and

Christ’s peace.


You know, this may be me, but I have a number of loved ones who I wish were as far along as your friend is. She is open to Adoration. She wants God. She is seeking to improve her relationship with Him. I am sorry I say give her time. I don’t know how someone kneels before the Blessed Sacrament without eventually wanting more. It sounds to me as if you have done great. I bet in time this all works out.

Oh, I have been there and I know it’s hard, but absolutely, keep praying for her. It is the single best thing to do, for you and for her.

It doesn’t sound like your friend is rejecting Christ, rather she doesn’t believe she needs the Roman Catholic Church to get to Him.

Don’t let it bother you, let her make her own decisions and it sounds like you are already there to answer her questions.

If we all had your compassion to bring people into the Church all the pews would be overflowing. Standing room only at Mass. Wouldn’t that be nice!

Great news! She’s asked about going to Mass! Ta Da! Not just any Mass either. She seems drawn to the Sacred Heart and wants to make nine First Fridays! We won’t be able to start this month but will start next month. First Friday falls on the Fourth of July this year and she has plans with the hubby, so it will have to happen next month, but shoot! She wants her foot planted in the door. Oh and before you go coo coo, I explained about her not being able to receive Communion, etc. but when I talked to Father about it,he said for me to tell her that God won’t withold graces just because she can’t receive and then I gave her an Act of Spiritual Communion prayer to say while there. I’ll go with her of course, so I guess I’m going to be making nine First Fridays too! LOL :smiley:

So keep the prayers comin’ boys and girls! Don’t stop!

And the Bible study is going well too. Geez Loueez - could it get any better?



Your faith fullness is a blessing to us all. Thank you for hanging in there!

Hi Gail,

My best friend from childhood was baptised, raised and confirmed Catholic. She never went to mass unless it was through the school because her catholic parents couldn’t be bothered to take her. She lived through childhood abuse with an alcoholic father. Her esteme level dropped rock bottom. Many times she came to my parents house and used it as a refuge. Growing up we always talked about church and had some heated debates but we both loved The Church. One day an Anglican friend started taking her to the Anglican service which “appeared” so much more open to everyone and which recited the apostles creed. Now she had a church that looked like the Catholic Church where she could go and not have to confess her sins to a priest. (Confession was her biggest obstical and she new she couldn’t receive the Eucharist because she was in the state of mortal sin.) The lady minister from that church said everyone was welcome to receive communion. Eventually, the Anglican friend married a Pentecostal and started going to the Penticostal church but remained faithful to her Anglican church. My friend was left high and dry, stopped going and then married an Anglican baptised her 2 kids Anglican and now is thinking about where they should go to school and would love to have them enrolled in a Catholic school. She now says she is still a Catholic at heart.

Did her switch hurt me. Yes I cried many times and prayed about it alot. What do I do? I try to answer her questions the best that I can, taught her some devotions, took her to adoration and leave the rest up to God.

Hang in there. I will praying for you!
(Sorry for the long post.)

Dear Gabriel,

Alcoholism has robbed more people of their faith then probalby all the heresies combined. It is a nasty disease with only one cure - total abstinence. There are many who need the cure, but unfortunately don’t seek it till all is lost. I’ll pray your friend comes home to Rome someday. It would be doubly tragic if her father’s disease robbed her children like it robbed her.



Well now, I don’t know what to say! I’ve just returned home from an evening Vigil Mass. Cardinal Rigali just formally installed the new Pastor at St. Stanislaus parish where I go, Monsignor Joseph Tracy. I don’t know what I was more excited about - the Cardinal coming to do the installation or the fact that the friend I’ve been praying for for these months was sitting in the pew beside me! Please keep the prayers coming - next step is the Nine First Fridays. It was funny - walking right in front of her as she came in the doors was an elderly couple I’ve asked at Adoration to pray for her conversion several times! She followed them into the Church not knowing that they were praying for her and there she was! Really cool timing on God’s part huh? (I think after she’s gotten settled in I’ll share that with her - maybe save it for a time when she begins to doubt the power of the prayers of us layslobs, hee hee hee!) There were others around that I saw who I’ve asked to pray for her from the Chapel as well. I thought I’d come here and share the joy of my evening with you guys n gals. Praise to You Lord Jesus Christ, King of endless Glory!

As you suspect the Mass of Installation went beautifully and the Cardinal’s homily was, as usual, excellent. Monsignor Tracy is a tall one too! Must be a few inches over six feet! I am really happy right now. I just hope she keeps coming. But all I can do is pray and answer more questions as best I can. Oh, I can continue to keep begging prayers for her from everyone I can think of - that means you readers of this post!!! I’ll let you know in the future how God uses your prayers!



Praying for you and Gail.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit