this week has been a very difficult week for me… I’m really scared about the future. I know I shouldn’t be… I’m really trying to trust God. I’m graduating from university, but there’s really not much I could do with my degree unless I go to grad school or professional school. I’m planning on applying to teachers college. But my parents have really made it clear to me that it’s VERY important for me to get in… due to a family situation that would take too long to describe… I’m so scared that I won’t get in. My grades aren’t at the top of the class, but it’s alright cause they’re looking only at the best 20 courses… I’m also working on getting the volunteer experience I need. If I don’t get in, I’d try again next year, but as I said it would be very very difficult with my family. I’m also scared cause I’m trying to decide if I have a religious vocation or if I should marry… but I can’t do anything at the moment, cause I only became Catholic recently so I need to be Catholic for at least 2 years, I also need to pay off a loan first. Thankfully I have some time… but whenever I think of how I have time, I feel guilty cause it’s like I’m making an excuse to God… what if He is callling me? I really have no idea…
Could you please pray for me that I’d have peace of mind, and that God’s will would be done in my life… that if it’s His will, that I’d get into teachers college. I feel like it would take a miracle for me to get in, because there’s SO much competition. I’d love to teach at Catholic school (even** if I** have a vocation and would be a nun later on, or maybe I would marry, I’m very much open to that too) and I believe God pointed me in this direction, at this stage of my life. But I’m so scared of things not going right. I don’t know… I KNOW I need to trust God. This whole week has just been very difficult, I have a bad cold, I wrote several midterm exams, and a lot in my life is just not going right. I feel like God has been giving me strength though.
I’m also sad cause whenever I start distrusting God I lose hope and I get further from Him… and it’s really getting further from God, that’s what hurts the most.
Thanks soo much for reading. God bless.