Hello. Let me start off by saying that I'm new here so I'm hoping I'm doing this right^^
Okay so my question. Well I'll start from the beginning. When I first met my fiance I was Agnostic. He was Catholic, and very much wanted me to become Catholic because he loved me, and wanted to marry me, but he didn't think he could marry someone who wasn't Catholic. So I guess he prayed about it a lot and let me ask a lot of questions and brought me to Mass, and about after a year of going to Mass weekly I had decided that being Catholic was what I wanted to do (out of my own will. And not just so I could marry him. We weren't engaged yet.)
Well about a few months after I was going through the RCIA process and my fiance wanted me to go on a retreat. So I went, and it was great fun :) On one of the days they split apart the boys and girls to show two different movies. Us girls saw one about being a nun, and I suppose the guys saw one about being a priest/deacon.
I remember the priest that was aiding in the retreat saying at the end of the movie that if we had felt a pull or a yearning or something like that in your heart, then you should at least consider it, and go talk to a priest and such.
Well the problem is...I did. It was something that really bothered me to no end. I remember literally sitting there for a few weeks determining whether it was just my excitement about becoming Catholic or if it was a serious calling. It got to a point where I fianlly broke down and told him what I was feeling, and I won't lie, he was a bit angry with me. He didn't yell at me or anything but he felt like I was leading him on I guess :shrug::
After a while I wasn't feeling it anymore. Life went on as normal. I became Catholic, and I just recently got engaged to said fiance.
Well...I've been feeling the pull again, but it has been so different. I'm feeling pulled to the married life and to be a nun almost exactly equally. I'm not really sure what to do. I've thought about going into either youth or music ministry, but to be quite frank...I can't afford the education. I'm not really sure what to do since I'm feeling very equally pulled to both. I've tried praying and asking for God to help guide me through this, but I really can't seem to get anywhere...and I really just don't know what to think sometimes...
Anyone have any advice?