Vocation Questions


I’m a young woman who has recently been courted by a Traditional Catholic man. We are looking at getting engaged shortly. However, lately, I have been persecuted with doubts as to whether I’m doing the right thing. I have never felt called to religious life and my deepest desire is to be a wife and mother. I was reading a theology book that said God punishes those who had a vocation to religious life and married instead and cited some sources.

Since reading that, I have become extremely afraid that my accepting a proposal of marriage would result in my being damned or punished with the loss of children or even my future husband’s death. The anxiety resulting from it is causing a huge strain on my ability to even function. I still don’t feel called to religious life, I pray about it constantly and from my prayers, I have been led to believe that I am indeed supposed to marry this amazing man who is so holy and so kind to everyone around him. Could anyone here please help me with this?


You don’t feel called to religious life.
Why do you think God would punish you for following your heart?
Please discuss this with your priest .


I really don’t know. I want nothing more than this future ahead of me, but I am terrified that I could somehow mess it up. I will try to get in contact with a priest


I have felt something very similar to you, so I completley understand. It’s this sense of I feel like I’m called to be a christian wife and mom, but somehow I am afraid of it because even though I don’t feel the calling to become a nun I don’t know so many what ifs.

Iv’e been having a lot of anxiety and crisis because of this, but something that has really helped me is realizing that God is a loving God and if you don’t feel anything on becoming a nun and you feel like whats for you is marriage then don’t fear.

I will for sure keep you in my prayers.


Pray to God and follow your heart.


It is very common to have all those “What if…?” questions pop up in our heads before we are making a life changing decision like marriage, being received into the Catholic Church or enter into religious life.

I think the visdom of the elderly could come in handy here. Is there a granny like woman you could have a chat with? Or a priest, deacon, sister? Your own mother?


Being a wife and mother IS a religious vocation. God himself established it.


I think it is quite a common and normal thing for religious girls / young women to either feel a call to a religious vocation, feel that they should or even to wish that they did. But most of us are ultimately called to marriage and motherhood.


If you have always felt called to be a wife and mother and have never felt a religious call, then you should not worry or have anxiety about it. You are probably being called to that state, a wife and mother, nothing wrong with that!

I remember when I was in college, I got to know a recently ordained priest who was not too much older than I was. He was very cool and we became friends. I could understand how a person could be called to the priesthood, but at that time, I also felt very strongly that I was not called to the priesthood. I, too, felt that I would marry and have children which I did in the end.

To make a long story short, eventually, after 5 children and still going strong in my marriage, I was ordained three years ago to the diaconate!

So, even though you might marry and have a family, you can also live out a live of faith very deeply perhaps even as a Third Order of a particular order…there are many ways to serve our Lord!

God Bless!

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