I can relate to your post so I thought my own story might be helpful to you - but my response was already too long, so I separated my story and am posting it separately.
I am also an INTJ. . . I felt called, but a few years ago it really increased, and for six months I kept searching heavily without finding. . . it frustrated me and threw me for an emotional loop. Like you, I felt called to an active/contemplative order. But unlike Cinderella, none of the shoes fit! It was like. . . I could see the beauty in so many orders, but they weren’t MINE. . . They were all beautiful and good and I couldn’t figure out how I was supposed to discern between them. I began to doubt whether or not I was actually called.
I retreated into prayer as often. . . sometimes frustrated with myself to the point of tears in the early hours of the morning. I offered sacrifices to join with my prayers, both for myself and others. Inasmuch as I could I went to daily Mass, adoration, and confession every two weeks, prayed a daily rosary and Stations of the Cross, and added to my Morning Offering each day the intention of the discernment of my vocation. I asked - and still ask - God to ever increase my love of Him.
At some point, I stopped researching active/ contemplative orders as heavily. I did, however, pursue things that moved my heart and lifted it up to Christ. . . reading books by Catholic authors who seemed to speak to me, etc. A very good friend wanted to read “Story of a Soul,” the autobiography of a Carmelite nun (St. Therese of Lisieux) with me. Shortly after starting this book, I began a novena to St. Therese asking for the discernment of my vocation. During that novena and my reading, I became curious about the Discalced Carmelites, so I researched them - more to get the background information for the book than anything else. And lo and behold, it was like. . . AT LAST! AT LAST! I felt like Adam - “This AT LAST is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” Like they were speaking my language, straight to my heart. I had not looked into the Discalced Carmelites before because they are entirely contemplative.
Shortly after, I found that so many of the things that moved me towards God - the poems of St. John of the Cross, the works of St. Teresa of Avila - were from Carmelite Spirituality. Even my prayer life was Carmelite in method. I fell in love with the spirituality, and have since fallen in love with the lifestyle - and everything else about it! I read Divine Intimacy daily - this is a book with daily Carmelite meditations - and it always, without fail, changes my perspective and lifts my heart to prayer. Nothing else moves me towards God like Carmel.
I have visited two Discalced Carmelite Monasteries over the past two years, and am planning a third visit - to a Monastery which happens to be the first to have St. Therese as its titular saint!