I have a question. I always wanted to know what God wants with me in this life. In the case, should I get married or not. He has always pointed me in the direction that I should’t, and just love the way I do now, spiritually. Is there anyway God would change his mind’? Maybe it is a strange question, but I would be disappointed if God has put me into one direction, which I embrace completely and then suddenly everything changes. That would make me feel I wasn’t living the life I should be in the first place…
It’s not that I am experiencing something like that right now, it’s more the feeling if I can trust Him, that it is really OK to be the in position I am now.
That type of doubt/fear is normal when discerning vocation, trust me. The first thing that you need to know is that only you will know what your vocation is and no one else can draw any conclusion. Pray for answers and look attentively to the signs God may be giving to you around the world, go into a silent room and reflect on what has been going on. If you go that far, you’re doing far more than the average person, and with more open ears with God. It seems to me that you’re already doing that and getting some signs of what God my want you to do. My Passionist priest always says as well that you are never sure of the conclusion, but you can gradually be more certain of it.
About changing His mind, I really doubt it. You may be wrong on what you think you’ve been called to, but whatever it is, it will be built in to your soul before you started discerning it. You can take your time and live your life before you fulfill your vocation, but if you determined correctly your vocation, that will be the only thing that is going to make you happier and closer to God. In most cases, the call is to marry (the call to marriage is a crushing majority, really), but there are always exceptions, and every soul is unique and not a statistic. And the more certain you are of your call, while you may deny it at first, you’re going to accept it after a period of time and more welcoming to the idea. Only God know what will make you happy, not the social stigma that marriage is what brings happiness (I sometimes doubt it when I see my mom over-stressed over so much time at work to keep her job in the middle of a crisis, only to return home and have to deal with me and my two sisters).
Good luck in your discernment, will be praying for you!