Vocations other than religious life and marriage


#1

What exactly is there other than religious life or marriage? For people such as I who have SSA we don’t fit into marriage, even if we stay chaste we still aren’t wanted in the priesthood (and women of course can’t be part of that), so what are we to do?


#2

You can be a layperson and be called to be single and lead lives of chastity and celibacy. Many people are called to this, not just those with SSA. Just as with any other vocation, those who remain single should strive to live holy lives and benefit the Lord and His Church.

These are some answers in the Ask an Apologist forum you might find helpful.
Is the single life a vocation?
What is the role of a homosexual person in the Catholic Church?


#3

Also, some of the people I know with SSA aren't completely adverse to the opposite sex. Plenty of people with SSA still get married and have children, just like all other tempted and imperfect people do!


#4

While there seems to be clear instruction on not ordaining men with deep seated homosexual tendencies, there is not the same prohibition for religious life. While life in a community may not be suitable, if you feel so called, you may want to explore options such as third orders.


#5

[quote="Garyjohn2, post:3, topic:250980"]
Also, some of the people I know with SSA aren't completely adverse to the opposite sex. Plenty of people with SSA still get married and have children, just like all other tempted and imperfect people do!

[/quote]

I have no feelings towards women, at all. I suppose I could marry a woman and have kids, but that's just trying to fool myself. Could I really make a woman happy if I don't love her? I actually find the concept of engaging in intercourse with women weird and kind of gross..


#6

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:5, topic:250980"]
I have no feelings towards women, at all. I suppose I could marry a woman and have kids, but that's just trying to fool myself. Could I really make a woman happy if I don't love her? I actually find the concept of engaging in intercourse with women weird and kind of gross..

[/quote]

I think that poster was referring to those who have SSA but also heterosexual attractions. Since it would seem you do not then marriage would not be a path for you - it would be unfair to your spouse.


#7

Sorry for my ignorance, but what's SSA?


#8

[quote="JL2011, post:7, topic:250980"]
Sorry for my ignorance, but what's SSA?

[/quote]

Same Sex Attraction


#9

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:5, topic:250980"]
I have no feelings towards women, at all. I suppose I could marry a woman and have kids, but that's just trying to fool myself. Could I really make a woman happy if I don't love her? I actually find the concept of engaging in intercourse with women weird and kind of gross..

[/quote]

I am a man and I am very attracted to women and they are very beautiful and they are one of the greatest gifts from God to mankind. However I can't see me ever having intercourse with a spouse and in that I don't feel called to married life. So I am not homosexual nor asexual but heterelsexual that prefers to live a virgin cellibate life which goes hand in hand to priesthood and or single cellibate life. There are many homosexuals that live cellibate lives and one that I hired felt i was called to priesthood!! It is not so much that SSA is horrible but it is how you act in regard to it. Just as how a heteralsexual behaves is important. Bundy was one that coems to mind being straight, he was a good example of how heterals can get out of hand and commit grave sin.. The major difference to someone with SSA is that they must always be cellibate in order to not commit grave sin.


#10

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:5, topic:250980"]
I have no feelings towards women, at all. I suppose I could marry a woman and have kids, but that's just trying to fool myself. Could I really make a woman happy if I don't love her? I actually find the concept of engaging in intercourse with women weird and kind of gross..

[/quote]

I know what you mean. I'm an asexual girl and i feel the same way about men. men are hansome but I feel no real attraction to them. I just tend to love everybody in a deep Christ-like love.

I wasn' t always this way, though. I used to be straight but as i matured and grew closer to God, he changed me. Even though i did not out loud publicly annouce it or really admit it to anyone but one person, I gave my virginity to Jesus for safe-keeping my freshmen year of high school. I also felt a strong call to the religious life. Now i am just trying to figure out what kind of life he wants me a live. A cloistered one or one as a perpetual virgin. I'm young yet, so I have time to figure out. Just heading to college and all. I will see where Jesus takes me.

God Bless you all.


#11

[quote="Corki, post:4, topic:250980"]
While there seems to be clear instruction on not ordaining men with deep seated homosexual tendencies, there is not the same prohibition for religious life. While life in a community may not be suitable, if you feel so called, you may want to explore options such as third orders.

[/quote]

I was going to suggest the same thing regarding third orders. I'm not sure whether living as a consecrated religious with SSA would be accepted by the Church but I can't seen why joining a third order wouldn't be an option.


#12

I think that a secular institute is a better option than a third order secular, and perhaps a third order regular or life as a religious brother better still.

The reason being, these lifestyles mean adopting the evangelical councils (those vows, which are nothing less than Jesus Christ’s own advice on how to most easily live a happy Christian life). In a secular institute, you live in the world, with your own apartment or house and secular job, but still following a rule. In a community, you live in common with your brothers, with their presence there to support you, and as a model for you. Which is more appealing depends a lot on your personality, and which life will provide you with what you need to be happy.

SSA or no SSA, though, chastity is always a gift of God, not something we do on our own. Therefore I would recommend anyone who knows that married life is not for them to look for a community, whether a religious order or a secular institute, to provide that Christian family that we all need in our adult life to be fulfilled.


#13

[quote="Mark1970, post:11, topic:250980"]
I'm not sure whether living as a consecrated religious with SSA would be accepted by the Church but I can't seen why joining a third order wouldn't be an option.

[/quote]

It's not really a problem for the Church--it's more a question of acceptance by the community in question If one is commited to chastity, SSA is not in itself an impediment. Chastity is chastity. However, both the community and the aspirant have to take very seriously the need to avoid temptation and occasion for sin. I expect that most would require some evidence that the aspirant was making good progress, with God's help, towards a chaste mentality, but at the same time orders have a great body of advice and expertise to offer their aspirants in achieving this.


#14

The Church has on at least one occasion discouraged people with same sex attraction from adopting the consecrated life. The 1961 document Careful Selection And Training Of Candidates For The States Of Perfection And Sacred Orders (S. C. Rel., 2 Feb., 1961) makes the following comment, with regard to the priesthood and the consecrated life:

Advancement to religious vows and ordination should be barred to those who are afflicted with evil tendencies to homosexuality or pederasty, since for them the common life and the priestly ministry would constitute serious dangers.

Yes, this is 50 years old, but I’m not sure it has ever been formally revoked. As the quoted comment points out, the danger to temptation against chastity is greater for same-sex attracted people living in community than for heterosexual people living in community.


#15

Wait a minute...what's wrong with people with deep-seated homosexual tendencies? They should be able to become priests. If it's as small a deal as Rome says it is, it shouldn't bar someone from the priesthood.


#16

[quote="DJ_Pius_X, post:15, topic:250980"]
Wait a minute...what's wrong with people with deep-seated homosexual tendencies? They should be able to become priests. If it's as small a deal as Rome says it is, it shouldn't bar someone from the priesthood.

[/quote]

"...the Church, even while deeply respecting the persons in question, cannot admit to Seminary or Holy Orders those who are actively homosexual, have deep-seated homosexual tendencies, or support the so-called gay culture"

Let's break it down,

1) actively homosexual: Entirely fair, since priests are celibate they aren't allowed to engage in sex
2) deep-seated homosexual tendencies: If you are constantly tempted by men or can't push it out of your mind to contemplate God then religious life isn't the best choice
3) support so-called gay culture: "Gay culture" embraces homosexual acts therefore they should be barred


closed #17

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