Vow of chastity/virginity

I have been quite sinful under the eyes of the Church. Although I have repented and went to Confession several times in pain about my sexual sins, I still feel unworthy to make a personal, private vow of chastity.

I plan to help others without getting married throughout my life and join a secular order. I am physically disabled and thus I cannot join a religious order given my genetic disabilities. Thus, I want to make a private vow of chastity and remain single.

I’m still open to the idea of marriage but I doubt that anyone wants to marry me because I’m disabled.

Is making a private vow of chastity still possible for me?

I don’t see why not! If you’ve confessed your sins Jesus has forgotten them & so can you!

This said, you may wish to give your private vow in the presence of a priest. I have a friend who did this. Then she wore a lovely ring on her ring finger to remind herself of the vow. Should you decide later to marry, I believe any priest can release you from the private vow. But assuming you wish to maintain the vow a ring can be a nice symbol and reminder not only of singlehearted devotion to Christ but also to acceptance by Christ and a clean break with your past!

As I recall it was a stone of light/bright blue like a “Mary blue.” Maybe topaz?

An Opus Dei numerary?

The question you ask should be one you ask of a spritiual director, not unknown people on a website.

One does not need to make a vow to live a chaste life; one simply has to follow the appropriate moral law. Whether or not one should make such a vow is not something to be done willy nilly; it should come as part of an on-going spiritual direction… There is danger in going places one should not go on their own, which can include emotional responses to “failure”, and can cause more emotional harm to the individual than good.

Seek spiritual direction from an appropriate individual trained in that; a priest or religious or properly trained lay person.

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of course, you can make a private vow of chastity! (and of virginity if you are still a virgin).

repented sexual sins don’t prevent it as long as you are commited in an healthy way to chastity now.

There are different options, but the details and discernment should be done with your priest and spiriritual director. You will only have differents opinions here of people who are not experts or don’t know you.

i am not sure I understand what you mean. As consecrated virgin live alone, the only think that it need is someone who is one, or someone who wants to become one for the order to exist.

The only think that can prevent a diocese to have a consecrated virgin is that the bishops (or a succesion of bishops) who refuse to consecrate virgins. Is your bishop refuse candidates?

Similar to said we are not “good enough”…
we are a virgin or we are not.

The only person that can determine you are "not enough " is your bishop, if you are honest about your past.
Maybe start with speaking with a trusted priest.

But as long as you will feel like that, nothing could happened if you try nothing.

Yes, of course it is possible! I recommend speaking to a priest about this to understand the obligation/how vows work, and to be guided in it :slight_smile: there are many Saints who lived with private vows. God bless you!

We should only make vows after consulting a spiritual director. It might happen that it could cause problems when our dispositions change in the future and lead to sin so I think it is important to not be rash.


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