Waiting until marriage for sex

So basically your friend is ok with sleeping around under the guise of ‘seeing if we’re compatible’.

One thing we see on Catholic answers is exactly that. Someone has been dating, having sex with them a while, and they come on with some story. He’s spent time in jail, he’s been married before, he spends a lot of time drinking, he gets really really angry at me, he promised that he’d quit porn but he sneaking it on me now.

God made sex to be the glue to help married couples through tough times. When applied too soon, as in dating, somehow it becomes very easy to overlook huge red flags in a relationship.

Dating should be a time of evaluation of a relationship. Is this person a good fit for me, a good parent one day, someone who knows how to pray, goes to the sacraments. It’s a time to be sober and thoughtful. Once you have sex, hormones make it very hard to think straight.

There’s no regrets doing it God’s way.

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I’d love to take the OP’s post to Mythbusters. lol

This is possibly the biggest myth/lie about sex and relationships. And it’s extremely damaging.

In my experience, compatibility is “male-cow excrement”. No couple is naturally “compatible”. All couples must work to make themselves more compatible to the other. This includes in the bedroom.
Sex before marriage is glamourised by society but it is often fraught with anxiety and insecurity in reality. It certainly doesn’t lend itself to being truly open and vulnerable about what one’s sexual preferences might be. Marriage is all about being open and vulnerable, and it helps couples to attain greater compatibility and greater sexual pleasure.
Sex is like driving. You are terrible at it when you start, and very nervous, but you get better with practice.

People in the modern world love to diss marriage. You’re tied down, trapped, it’s unromantic, you’re whipped, the old ball and chain, no more freedom, sexually yoked to one person. But that is what we’re designed for and anything else ultimately will hurt us. Marriage has the potential to be the most romantic, amazing, and liberating experience. But many prefer to eat dog food instead of caviar.

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This. Absolutely this.^^^ What AdamP88 said.

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Learning how to drive! Thanks AdamP88! There’s a lot of rules to learn first, from a book. Lots. Then there’s the practical, the actual driving, with a person sitting beside you to teach you. It’s a lot of trouble and effort to get a driver’s license and yet, people are ok with it. The reason is that we know we have to share the road with a million other people and to be safe, we all need to follow the same rules of the road.

God created men and women and family life. He gave us a bible and He gave us a Church to be the one who sits beside us as we go through life. Yes there are lots of people who don’t want to pay attention to God’s rules for family. And like car crashes and fatalities on the road when people drive too fast, maybe drink too much, ignoring the rules of the road, so too the people who ignore God’s plan for marriage and family life have fatalities as well, as we see in the number of abortions. We never hear this enough. That’s our own children we’re bringing to be slaughtered.

Let’s learn from the mistakes of others and not go there. That’s the smart choice. Let’s encourage others to make that choice.

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I’ve had this sort of talk with a lot of people but never once did I think about it this way, thank you!

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