Walked out of rosary/chaplet recitation


#1

Today after Mass there was a small group of people who stayed back to recite the rosary and the chaplet of divine mercy. The chaplet is my absolute favorite prayer so naturally I stayed to recite it with the community. Here is the problem… It was being rushed. During the rosary, the reciters were eating up their words, rushing through it as if it were a race. I decided that by the time they got to the chaplet, we’d slow down and really pray and meditate on what was being said. It was worse. It was being rushed, said without feeling, said for the sake of being said. It upset me a lot because when I pray I literally feel the prayer, tears stream down my face…this is how prayer touches me. Anyway, I got up in the middle of the exercise and left.

Any thoughts or comments as to how I should’ve handled it? What would you have done? This has really dampened my spirits I do not feel like staying on anymore for group prayer. :frowning:


#2

Maybe wait til after and ask the reciter to slow down? :shrug:


#3

I too have difficulty in group prayer when things are said so fast. But respectfully, don’t assume because you are having difficulty that the people who were praying that way were just saying the words.


#4

:sad_yes: I totally understand how you feel and would have done the same thing myself. There’s no reason to rush the prayers. Also, I think praying yhe Rosary AND Chaplet back to back as too much at once. Prayer is not about cramming in all the devotions and vocal prayers all at once. Attentive, silent meditation is vital. :thumbsup:


#5

Our parish does the rosary before mass and the Divine Mercy during holy hour. The priest leads the Divine Mercy and it goes at a good pace, not too fast and not too slow.
The rosary is a different matter, sometimes it goes so fast I can barely keep up with it and it’s not like that all the time and when it is it’s not because we started late. Best thing I can do is take a decade or two and do them at a pace that is comfortable. (One person starts our rosary and Divine Mercy and then others step in and do the different decades and then the leader ends it) Silly to rush a prayer in my opinion. And if one person was doing it all and they were going at the speed of a locomotive, I’d ask them to slow down a bit, or perhaps you could offer to help do the decades. :slight_smile:


#6

I’m sorry that you experienced the recitation of one of your favorite prayers in such a way. However, I would just state that sometimes culture just happens to play a role.

For example, the Irish often say the rosary incredibly fast. it’s a cultural tradition that goes back to their persecution by the British. I only use this as an example because sometimes there are cultural reasons for actions that may not seem apparent to us. :slight_smile:


#7

We tend to have this problem in our parish. Many of our parishioners speak very quickly, that is their natural speaking rhythm - as a result chanting is often used by our priests as a way of ‘forcing’ people to slow their responses.

The speed at which prayers are said in no way reflects the reverence, but this can be a difficulty with group prayer, we are all comfortable with different speeds - I use different ones at different times.

In my opinion walking out is not very polite as it probably disturbed others.

Either ask why the prayers were so ‘rushed’ and ask if they can be slowed down, or continue to use these devotions in your private prayers rather than as part of this group.

We have the Rosary before all Masses (start about 30 minutes before the Mass) sometimes I feel as though I’ve been part of a Rosary Express Train.


#8

Personally I would have stayed and left at the end like everyone else. Different speeds of saying prayers suit different people; that doesn’t mean one is better than another.

Leaving in the middle of a small communal prayer group like that might come across as if you are passing a negative judgement on other people’s prayers.


#9

I have a couple of thoughts. First, if this is going to constantly be a source of contention with you in the speed then it might be better not to participate. Secondly, maybe you could carefully approach the person or persons who generally start these prayers and share your concern and your desire to slow it down. Finally, realize that whether it goes fast and not as slow as you would desire doesn’t mean that they are any more doing it less meaninfully than you are. One can’t judge these things on the surface and at least even though it is fast to your tastes, they are in Church and making an effort to pray. Don’t get mad and walk out, take a deep breathe and try to realize that everyone is at a different spiritual level and the sooner that we understand this I think that the more latitude we can give each other.


#10

I think we need to be very careful not to equate pace with devotion. The people who lead the rosary before Mass at my parish also often say it quickly. However they are also among the most pious devout people in the parish.

If you are not comfortable saying the rosary or chaplet with this group than simply don’t. You can ask politely if they can slow down a bit or offer to lead the chaplet. You may find as other poster say that it is merely cultural norms that cause the fast pace.


#11

I think you have made a lot of assumptions about other people’s motives, piety, and faith.


#12

“fast” can be a relative term that various observers will experience differently. If it were me I would have stayed put, because slow/fast if it’s done with the correct intentions in mind it counts and there is an indulgence to be gained.

I can sympathize with the OP who is searching for a more ‘reverence’ but that also is a relative term.


#13

The Rosary recited in Church is given 15-minutes. There isn’t much faster or slower in 15-munutes with 5-decades of the Rosary. Just saying.


#14

Volunteer to lead it yourself. However, I’m curious what’s considered “too fast”. When recited in a group, it should take around 15 minutes or so to recite. It’s not something that should be slowed down and dragged out in order to make it sound “more pious”.


#15

I have thoughts of leaving the recitation too for how fast and jumbled it is being said. Not a thought I am happy about, but a thought nonetheless. But…I am there to participate with the family of God. So I pray and listen. One idea I had was to say softly along with the person saying the first part, then listening or reflecting on the response. My second idea, was to listen to the pace of the person sitting next to me and follow it. If neither of those seem to work, then I pray for those gathering and the prayers being recited to be pleasing to the Lord. I do enjoy being in the presence of chanting, so I accept it for that and simply enjoy.

Peace

dave.


#16

Good idea.

When recited in a group, it should take around 15 minutes or so to recite.

Correct. Even the EWTN version (the weekday one) is that.

I have noticed that for some people who cannot keep pace (too slow or too fast), whether leading rosaries, or singing hymns, the problem is that they cannot hear others well enough, or are forgetting to listen. In a parish near me, this happens because one such “leader” is an older woman who clearly has hearing problems. That’s why I agree with the poster above about the offer to lead. I would frame it that this is something that you’re so committed to, that it’s developed into a personal ministry for you, and it would do you great spiritual good if you would be allowed to lead.

…That is, IF you feel like leading! (Maybe you don’t !)

If that doesn’t work, I would try another parish, or I would say the chaplet alone.


#17

I agree with everyone else here. Just because people don’t cry or speak slowly doesnt mean that they are not reverent.

Your attitude reminds me of what I used to encounter in my husband’s Pentecostal (Assemblies of God) church. During praise times, everyone in the parish lifted their hands (see I Timothy 2:8). Everyone except me, since I didn’t feel comfortable praying like that (I was raised Baptist, and we did not do any kind of outward display of worship).

The people in that A of God church would turn and STARE at me, and frown, and whisper to each other. Sometimes they would try to witness to me after the worship service, as though I was a non-believer. Ooooh, that was frustrating!

Here in the Midwest (Northern Illinois), we talk very fast. Listen to President Obama speak, and you will see what I mean (and he slows down when giving a speech).

My husband and I moved down to North Carolina, and for the first year or so, whenever we went to a restaurant or store, the waiters or clerks would say, “Honey, slow down! I can’t understand a word y’all are sayin’!”

My daughter just moved to Texas, and she’s getting the same thing. Everyone tells her that she moves and talks too fast.

Of course we (and she) are polite about this kind of judgement from those who are not from the Midwest, but honestly, if it happens again, now that I am older, I would probably come right out and say, "What right do you have to judge me for talking fast? What would you say if I said, “You talk too slow.”

My point is, stop judging others.

One more thing–others have said that you should volunteer to lead the Rosary for the group. At first, I thought, “Great idea!” But now that I think it over, I would say, “No, don’t volunteer.” Many people who come to pray the Rosary with the group have limited time due to work or family obligations. If you lead the Rosary and make it last longer than the 15-20 minutes, these people will have to leave before the Rosary if finished, and that’s not very nice for them.

So just let the leaders who are already there continue to lead, while you go to a place where you can pray the Rosary at the pace that you prefer.


#18

I would have left as soon as mass had finished .

The rosary and such prayers are not for group prayer . They are for private and personal use .

The time after mass should be an opportunity for people to be in silence .


#19

Okay thanks everyone I won’t be going back I’m better off doing it alone it seems.


#20

I know I am.

Although I do occasionally do it just to try to expand my ability to pray in a group.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.