I’m not sure if this is really the correct place to post this, but was directed here from another forum. I originally posted this elsewhere but wanted a little more dialogue as I have some reservations coming back to the Church. I’ll just copy/paste below:
I was Catholic. I was in love with the Church and everything she taught. The Magisterium, confession, the local parish, Catholic culture. I was considering joining the KoC. I was all in. But there was a fork in the road nearing. A girl.
She was Baptist. She loved Jesus. She was smart, funny, beautiful, and I was attracted to her. She was, in now way, going to become Catholic. My friends and I tried and tried, and tried some more. She wouldn’t have it. We used every apologetic in the book. She fired back with her own.
She wasn’t going to convert. We weren’t going to date. I had to do something.
So I sold out. I feigned conversion to date a girl. Trouble is, “fake it till you make it” became a reality. I even began believing protestant doctrines and I thought my belief was genuine. I left the Church around 2 years ago.
She and I got married November 2014 and it has been nothing short of amazing. I love her very much. But there’s a problem: I feel myself drawn back to the Church. I’ve been really examining protestant doctrine and just don’t find anything compelling beyond surface level. I keep going back to John 6 and the disciples who desert Jesus upon hearing his teaching on the eucharist. Then there’s the issue of Sola Scriptura being self-defeating, the issue with Protestantism cherry-picking which ecumenical councils are valid, and many more. It seems like the more I dig, the more I’m drawn back. She has no idea. But this is snowballing quickly and I don’t know how to bring it up.
I don’t know what to do. Her family would murder me. She’d be distraught. There’s the shame of everyone correctly assuming I had simply changed denominations for a woman (a shame that is justified). She loves our current church. Her family are extremely devout Baptists, as are most of our friends.
I’m kind of between a rock and a hard place and it seems there’s no way out and I really need some guidance.