This is the first time I am posting on this forum so I ask that you treat me gently as I have little to no knowledge of Catholic doctrine and in particular, canon law surrounding the Sacraments.
I am getting married in just under 4 months. We have had a very short engagement and due to our age and desire to start a family, we don’t see any value in a long engagement.
My fiance is Catholic and I am a baptized non-practicing Seventh-day Adventist. My fiance would like to raise our children Catholic, which I am not opposed to, but I will only agree to do so under the condition that I convert. This is not a demand from my husband-to-be, since he’s not even practicing, but it’s important to me because I was raised in an interfaith home (my father is Catholic) and I want unity in belief and practice within the home. Sadly, many people from my church often made derogatory remarks about my father and my parent’s marriage not being valid because of his faith. I want to avoid this at all costs for my children.
Having said this, my fiance was married in the Catholic Church many years ago. The relationship lasted 8 months, but he failed to obtain an annulment since he’s no longer practices. I’m not sure if he will ever obtain an annulment because of his beliefs regarding the process, which, but because of his decision I am unable to begin RCIA classes in our parish.
When the local priest told me this I was quite taken back. I don’t understand the reasoning and find this a rather un-Christian attitude. I understand that we cannot be married in the RC Church, but I don’t understand why I can’t even be confirmed!?
At this point, I think this could be a sign from God that this is not the right church to raise my family in. I do not want my children to be told that their mother is lost because she’s not Catholic or that their father is married to another woman! As I said, I was told similar things about my father during my upbringing and would never submit my child to it.
I have told my fiance that the only way I will raise a child Catholic is that if our family is recognized in every respect (meaning that he needs to obtain an annulment), but that is his choice to make. I have been looking into the Anglican Church as an alternative, but he’s dead-set against it and replies “He’s a Catholic” every time I bring it up.
Perhaps someone can shed some light on what I can do to get around this. I feel quite innocent in all this since I sincerely want to join the church.
Thank-you in advance for your reply.