I am a 24 year old woman, and I definitely want to get married, but do not want kids. I hate the idea of pregnancy, childbirth, everything about it makes me shudder. I do not want to put my body through that. I know so many women who enjoy being pregnant and go on and on about how beautiful pregnancy is, but I just don’t see it or want it. I also hate the idea of raising children. The thought of it is not appealing at all to me, I’ve never had “maternal instincts,” and I just don’t find the “mommy life” as a life that I want for myself. Even when I was a little girl, I never wanted to become a mom and each year that goes by I want kids less and less. I don’t find babies cute, I don’t like holding them, and they honestly make me feel so uncomfortable. I can handle older children in small doses and like some of them, but I would never want to commit to having my own child that I’m responsible for 24/7/365. It would drive me nuts, and it wouldn’t be fair to the child to have a cranky mother. I’ve always desired marriage, however, which is how I know that I’m meant to get married. I know that I would make an excellent wife, since the requirements for what makes a good wife are different than that of being a good mother.
And please do not start in with trying to lecture me on how I’m young and will change my mind and blah blah blah. Like I said before, with each year that goes by, my desire not to have children becomes even stronger. I think that it’s ridiculous especially when men try to lecture on why it’s wrong to women who don’t want children. I don’t believe men have any right to tell a woman how to feel about putting her body through something as traumatic as pregnancy. They’re not the ones going through it, so they have no right to be pushing women to have children if they don’t want any. I find it incredibly insulting and insensitive.
I get frustrated given that I am Catholic, have a lot of faith and do love God with my everything, and yet have this deep-rooted aversion to having children, and therefore would be considered ineligible to get married in the Church. I am having a hard time accepting the Church teaching that one must be “open to children” in order to validly marry in the Catholic Church. If not wanting children is an impediment to a valid marriage within the Catholic Church, is there any other way in which I could get married outside of the Church yet still have the Church recognize my marriage as valid? Is such a thing possible? Because doesn’t the Catholic Church recognize other marriages outside of it as valid? If so, in which cases?