Want to send kids to Catholic school


#1

So I have a 2 year old boy and a 1 month old boy. I have a couple of years to see if I win the lottery, or for a long lost relative that I didn't know I had to die and leave me millions of dollars. However, right now I am a police officer and I live in the Washington D.C. area where everything is insanely expensive and it doesn't seem as if things will be getting any cheaper any time soon. I make $45,000 a year and my wife is a stay at home mom. I would send my kids to public school and just teach them the faith on my own but there is a gang problem in the public schools that my children would attend. My wife and I do not use birth control or contraception and so we will most likely have more kids until God decides to cut us off. I want to send my kids to Catholic schools but I don't know if I can afford their outrageous astronomical tuition prices even after tuition assistance, especially during high school, and ESPECIALLY if I continue to have more and more kids. Home schooling is not an option for us because to be honest my wife does not have the discipline or authoritative personality to do it, and I don't have the time or intelligence. If I only have these two kids and I spend all of my extra time working second and third jobs then I could probably afford to send these to kids to Catholic schools but not anymore than these two kids. Should I just stop following the Catholic teaching about birth control and contraception? Should I give my kids up for adoption to some rich family (just kidding)? What should I do?


#2

Trust God. :)

He will help you find a way to make it all work when the time comes. Pray and sacrifice. Be a good dad and a good husband. You have no way of knowing what your situation will be a few years from now. You only have today's grace; you don't have tomorrow's grace yet. (much less the year 2014's grace!)


#3

Can your wife work from home or find a job that will work with your family's schedule?

I work in order to afford to send our kids to Catholic School. :)


#4

It is good that you are thinking about it now. What about moving to an area where things aren't so expensive? Is that an option?


#5

Contraception is intrinsically evil. So, no, you should not offend God by doing so. However, if you need to space your children, natural family planning is a moral means of doing so. It is not either contracept or have more kids than you can reasonably support. That's a false dichotomy.

As for Catholic school, I suggest you talk to your parish priest. There may be scholarships available you are not aware of.


#6

I would pray about the situation. And be open to all the possibilities that are best for your family. Honestly, the Catholic school may not be the best option. But you can become too fixed on just that option alone, you may miss what God is truly calling your family to do.


#7

[quote="AnotherChance, post:4, topic:247021"]
It is good that you are thinking about it now. What about moving to an area where things aren't so expensive? Is that an option?

[/quote]

My thoughts exactly. You have time before they are school age.....maybe you are being called to live in a different area.


#8

It's a tough thing, isn't it? In my area, the public school district spends about $14,500 per year per student and socks it to us taxpayers to fund all that. Choosing catholic school means paying for BOTH the public school system and my kids catholic tuition. Hurts here too, but is still possible.

Is there are school nearby you really wish you COULD afford? Maybe your wife can start making some connections there with the long term goal of clerical or other work at the school (with pay and perhaps a tuition waiver thrown in)?
Can you moonlight a bit for private security or get overtime at work?
Does your police job require you to live where the schools all have gang issues, or is there a chance you can move to a better public school district?


#9

I live in Nebraska, so I can't really say if it is the same where you live, but there is usually financial aid for families that qualify. Most Catholic schools will try and work with you. I would contact the Catholic school that you are interested in when your children are older. You could try now, but I doubt they will do too much other than tell you if they have a financial aid program. I would not recommend contraception. There are other methods such as NFP, however.


#10

If you don’t want more kids at the current time, use a method such as NFP, which is described in this video: youtube.com/watch?v=oplzfUlJVVY&feature=channel_video_title.

If you want to send your kids to a Catholic school, contact them, I’m sure there’s a way that they could work with you on that. They are usually pretty good about that.

You are in my prayers. :smiley:


#11

About one third to a half of students get some kind of financial aid, if you want it bad enough you will make it happen, it may require sacrifice but it can be done, I earn half of what you are and I can do it, so can you.


#12

[quote="paul11b, post:1, topic:247021"]
So I have a 2 year old boy and a 1 month old boy. I have a couple of years to see if I win the lottery, or for a long lost relative that I didn't know I had to die and leave me millions of dollars. However, right now I am a police officer and I live in the Washington D.C. area where everything is insanely expensive and it doesn't seem as if things will be getting any cheaper any time soon. I make $45,000 a year and my wife is a stay at home mom. I would send my kids to public school and just teach them the faith on my own but there is a gang problem in the public schools that my children would attend. My wife and I do not use birth control or contraception and so we will most likely have more kids until God decides to cut us off. I want to send my kids to Catholic schools but I don't know if I can afford their outrageous astronomical tuition prices even after tuition assistance, especially during high school, and ESPECIALLY if I continue to have more and more kids. Home schooling is not an option for us because to be honest my wife does not have the discipline or authoritative personality to do it, and I don't have the time or intelligence. If I only have these two kids and I spend all of my extra time working second and third jobs then I could probably afford to send these to kids to Catholic schools but not anymore than these two kids. Should I just stop following the Catholic teaching about birth control and contraception? Should I give my kids up for adoption to some rich family (just kidding)? What should I do?

[/quote]

If no one minds me asking, do you get help from the state in America if you want to send your kids to a Catholic school? Is state education completely 'free?' Meaning, the government funds it via the income tax system. How does it work?

The reason I ask is because in my part of the world, all schools, including Catholic schools, are paid for by the state.

Maybe coming to live in Ireland would solve your problem. :D

There are a lot of debates going on as to whether the state should continue to fund Catholic schools, and I'd like more information on how education is funded in other countries for the purpose of challenging arguments for withdrawing state funding from faith schools.


#13

Definitely check out financial aid. Most Catholic schools have it (ours does). The price can vary widely from school to school as well. The school my children attend is 200/student each month. There are others in the diocese that are double that for the first child. Our school doesn't have a lot of extras, but they do have the same cirriculum as any other school in the diocese.

Also, keep in mind that for each child at the school, you will pay slightly less for each additional child. :)

As for high school-- I'm suffering as well because the tuition for the Catholic high schools is over 12k per year. There is a Cristo Rey school in the area, but our income is too high for it. We'll see if my children are able to get some financial aid or scholarships. They're both A-students, so it's a possibility.


#14

It is good that you are thinking about the future, planning for it, but you never know what God has planned for you in the future either. When dd was little, I looked into the prices at Catholic schools around here and had no idea how we were going to afford Catholic school for her. We did not have the gang problem in our Public schools around here, but nevertheless I wanted Catholic schools for her. She is now 6 years old, will be going to first grade this fall, and has a brother that will be going to Kindergarten, both in a Catholic school, and they have 3 more younger siblings. Things worked out (and yes, there were scholarships I did not know of), God is good! :) I will add that I do know a family with 10 kids that changed from Catholic to Public school this year because of costs. That family is a great example of joy and faith in our community and I think it is directly related to the blessings of being a large family and having faithful and generous parents. I think God will help that family to continue to grow in their faith regardless of their school (I do know they do receive formation/religious education elsewhere).


#15

[quote="Brendan_McCabe, post:11, topic:247021"]
About one third to a half of students get some kind of financial aid, if you want it bad enough you will make it happen, it may require sacrifice but it can be done, I earn half of what you are and I can do it, so can you.

[/quote]

I'm going to try to make it happen but I don't know if you realize how expensive things are in Washington D.C. I paid $275,000 for a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse; my mortgage is about $1,800 a month. That's a cheap house too, if I want to get a decent single family home I'm paying at least $450,000 for it. Catholic schools are about $7,500 - $8,000 a year for elementary school and about $12,000-$18,000 a year for high school. Those prices are for each kid, you do not get any sort of discount for multiple children. I’m from Kentucky and things are way cheaper there, I want to move back but my wife is from here and she REALLY wants to stay here. I was in the army so I’m fine with living away from my family but my wife is not ok with being away from her mom and dad.


#16

[quote="minkymurph, post:12, topic:247021"]
If no one minds me asking, do you get help from the state in America if you want to send your kids to a Catholic school?

[/quote]

No.

[quote="minkymurph, post:12, topic:247021"]
Is state education completely 'free?' Meaning, the government funds it via the income tax system. How does it work?

[/quote]

Yes, public education is free up through grade 12. University is not free.

It is funded primarily from local property taxes not income tax. Other funding comes from the state government and some from the federal government via a series of formulas, grants, etc.

[quote="minkymurph, post:12, topic:247021"]
The reason I ask is because in my part of the world, all schools, including Catholic schools, are paid for by the state.

[/quote]

It does not work that way in the US.

[quote="minkymurph, post:12, topic:247021"]
There are a lot of debates going on as to whether the state should continue to fund Catholic schools, and I'd like more information on how education is funded in other countries for the purpose of challenging arguments for withdrawing state funding from faith schools.

[/quote]

I hope you are successful.


#17

[quote="paul11b, post:15, topic:247021"]
I. I’m from Kentucky and things are way cheaper there, I want to move back but my wife is from here and she REALLY wants to stay here. I was in the army so I’m fine with living away from my family but my wife is not ok with being away from her mom and dad.

[/quote]

DC/ northern VA are expensive!! :eek:

Can you move to a different part of MD? There are less expensive places to live, and you'd still be relatively close to family.


#18

[quote="paul11b, post:1, topic:247021"]
Home schooling is not an option for us because to be honest my wife does not have the discipline or authoritative personality to do it, and

[/quote]

Don't sell your wife short. I don't have a whole lot of self-discipline and I am one of the least organized person's ever. I also have trouble staying focused on certain things. But I finally had the guts to take on homeschooling this past year, and we love it. The kids have been learning a lot, and written out, ready made, lesson plans help us keep on task. We're looking forward to getting all of next years curriculum in the next month and getting everything ready.

If you're wife is even remotely interested, (and she has plenty of time to decide and could even do some at home pre-school type stuff in the next couple of years to give it a whirl), then support her. And they are wonderful support groups for homeschoolers, even Catholic support groups that can help mom's balance in the areas they need help with.

If it's not something she thinks she can do, that's fine.

But if she thinks she might, encourage her to look into it. I didn't think I could do it when my oldest started kindergarten. We started last fall when he was in 4th grade and his younger brother started kindergarten. I wish now I had had the guts to start homeschooling him back then. It would have saved us a lot of heart-ache and frustration in k-3 for him.


#19

[quote="paul11b, post:15, topic:247021"]
... I want to move back but my wife is from here and she REALLY wants to stay here. I was in the army so I’m fine with living away from my family but my wife is not ok with being away from her mom and dad.

[/quote]

Red flag!

You are the breadwinner, and you go where the work is. For her to expect you to leave your family for her and sacrifice nothing in return is unbecoming of a Catholic wife.

You do not need her permission to relocate the family. I had an almost identical situation with my wife. We were in the Army. I am from Oklahoma. She is from Glen Burnie, MD. We moved to Dale City, VA so that I could be closer to work, and the cost of living was lower. She still gets to see her family more than I do, and when I pointed that out, she stopped complaining about it.

You have two options: relocate or change careers. You are the head of the household. Being near to her family is no more relevant than being near to yours. Make a decision, and be loving during the course, but do not apologize for it. You are doing the right thing in considering the long-term necessities. What she wants as an individual comes second to what you need as a family.

Have you considered federal law enforcement? There are plenty of options. :cool:


#20

[quote="1ke, post:16, topic:247021"]

It is funded primarily from local property taxes not income tax. Other funding comes from the state government and some from the federal government via a series of formulas, grants, etc.

[/quote]

Can people who can't afford school fees because they are on a low income get grants from the government to help them? Can they get these grants if they want to send their kids to a faith school, or only if they send them to public school?

[quote="1ke, post:16, topic:247021"]
I hope you are successful.

[/quote]

So do I. I'm sorry if this is de-railing the thread, and I'd be happy to communicate with anyone on the thread via PM or another thread if it is more appropriate, but this very significant to debates surrounding state funding of faith schools here. One of the many arguments that has been put forward by secularist groups is that in other countries the state does not fund faith schools. One of my arguments is in many countries, such as France, they actually do - just more indirectly.


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