Over the past couple of months, I’ve started to discern the priesthood and I’m all but certain it’s what’s God is calling me to. I’ve gone to mass just about everyday since April (before school for a while, now I walk to my local parish) and I do my best to pray the liturgy of the hours. My problem arises when I haven’t even told my parents any of this. My discernment has been through private prayer and doing a lot of research in private browsing, I’ve been able to go to daily mass by claiming I like to get to school early/saying I just went for a long walk, and I usually just say something along the lines of “oh I’m just reading something” when my parents ask me what I’m doing while I pray the liturgy of the hours. For the most part, I’m not worried about them not supporting me (they’ve said in the past they would support any of their kids who chose a religious vocation in casual conversation), but I’m worried they’d bring it up in a fight.
It seems like a weekly thing where I get pissed off at my parents because I feel as those their constantly helicopter parenting me (although they aren't as bad as some helicopter parents). They nonstop check my grades even though I've repeatedly asked them not to, as I'm very aware of my grades and but tons of pressure on myself to keep them up (which they know), and most of all they try to take excessive control over my life. Last summer my brother attempted Suicide, and then shortly afterwards started to sneak out and lot and disobey my parent's wishes (around this time they were giving him a lot of extra privileges and taking a very hands off aproach), but now they don't want to make the same mistake again, and rather than treat my like an individual who deserves privacy, and a chance to just hang out with my friends, they are constantly trying to figure out what I'm doing and acting like I'm some bad kid whose just going to go out drinking. I'm a good kid. I think drinking is incredibly stupid, and I'm not afraid to call my friends idiots and walk away when they do something dumb, but rather than look at that they continue to watch me and upset me and that leads us to getting into arguments. Sometimes it'll just last a few minutes before I leave and go to my room, then in the morning everything is fine, but in other cases the anger between us can be felt for days or even weeks. These fights have gotten so intense that at times I've tried to figure out if I could reasonable sustain myself if I ran away (there was a good year in Middle school where I decided that i would stick it out till I was sixteen, then take my car and leave my house forever), and there are sometime where I find myself feeling like (as terrible as it is) I don't need these people or even love them. They just feel like people that pay for my food and give my a place to stay. I know it's a terrible thing to say, but it's how I've genuinely felt at times. I don't want to get into these fights, I try my best to honor the fourth commandment, but it's difficult when I feel so angry at my parents and they just seem so wrong to me. It puts a strain on our relationship that I want to ease, but it just always feel so intense. Next year I'll be a Junior which means I'm going to have to start looking into colleges, which means I probably need to talk to the vocations director and figure out if I should go straight to seminary or to college first, and in order to do that I'm going to need to tell my parents I've been discerning the priesthood, but I'm scared to do so because of the aforementioned fights. In the past they've used things going on in my life against me (for a while it was my "work ethic" and my mom even tried to use confirmation against me once). My main question is, how should I overcome my fear and tell them about what I think my vocation might be, also what should I do if they try to use what my vocation might be against me, or how do I just avoid these fights in general?