A few days ago I felt I thought ‘if I did have the chance to be with a woman this evening, I would do it’. Because of this I entered a sex chat site. I’ve been there more often, and I come there just to to talk to people and maybe ending up with a woman, not having the idea of wanting sex. But like I said, this time was different. It didn’t seem to work and counld’t find the right person. At that point I also decided that it is better not to continue searching (if I really wanted it to happen, there would always be a way to call an escort service for example) because it is better not to because it would drive me away from God.
As from what I understood, is wanting this sin to happen, still a mortal sin, even if I was unable to carry it out. But because I was unable to carry it out in a period of time, it also made me realize it is better not to look for having sex. If you want to talk to someone, just don’t talk about sexual stuff. And I never did sent a text like ‘I want to sleep with you tonight’ or any kind, I even was very careful with the kind of images that flow around on that kind of chatboxes. In my profile name I mostly put things like ‘it would be nice to have children with someone’ or ‘to make someone pregnant’. Is it a bad idea to put a statement like that? I mean, I don’t mean i want to make someone pregnant this evening, but rather mean I want to find someone with whom I can have children with.
I always had a problem with masturbation, but thank God I have been able to overcome this for the last month and I certainly don’t want to do it, because of the damage it causes.
So my question, did I commit a mortal sin because of wanting to have sex in the first place, but without being able to carry it out in the period I wanted it, before I realized it wasn’t such a good idea after all? Can I take communion as I would normally do? When having doubts is it a good idea to continue with taking communion?