so there are a few situations that have happened lately which my mom tells me I’m a selfish person. I just wanted to get some objective perspective on it
the first one was a couple weeks ago, I had asked my dad to help me look over some maps for one of my courses and he agreed. but we had been away that weekend and had to go have dinner with one of my mom’s friends when we got back on sunday so by the time we got around to it, it was about 9:30 ish at night. I asked mmy dad if he was ok with helping me or if he wanted to go to bed since he had to work the next day and he said heh wanted to help me then. then my mom came in yelling and saying I was not letting him sleep and forcing him.
then this morning, she said she was feeling some heart palpitations so my dad and I went with her to the hospital. luckily, she got to see a nurse right away and my dad said he would drop me off at mass and that at least one of us should go and he would go back and stay with her. I even asked if she was ok with this and he said she was. then when I was done mass, apparently she was mad at me for going to church and not staying at the hospital. I know in this case, it probably would have been a just reason to not go but I didn’t think it would be a problem if my dad said he would stay
anyways, later on this afternoon, mmy dad mentioned how I still wante dto go to med school and how I didn’t want to be a teacher. she then said she was never forcing me to be a teacher, which she has been since a couple weeks ago, she threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn’t. I mentioned this and she said I was selfish for blaming her for my problems and causing the stress that made her have to go to the hospital.
another thing, she keeps saying how I should just graduate and get a job so I can make money to take of them when they’re old, which I do want to do but it’s all these expectations that are driving me crazy. somehow, if I don’t do exactly something she wants, then I’m apparently being selfish. and if I ever mention possibly moving out, then the guilt trip comes too.
I really try to be conscious of what I do and really don’t want to be selfish but I don’t know if I actually am or not.
also, to what extent does care of parents fall on the children? I know the catechism mentions we should do as much as we can but I don’t know how far that goes. if it were up to them, I’d be living at home for the rest of my life, using my income only to support them and nothing else. and if I do manage to get a job soon and one of them needs full time care, I don’t think i’ll be able to work and provide that care, I am an only child after all, I can’t do everything but that’s what they expect. it’s like I owe them for bringing me in to the world or something like that.
any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks