I know in many traditional circles....the guy pursues the woman. In my case, I saw my guy at a and approached him ( though the attraction was mutual)a little over a year ago. I broke off the relationship after three months becuase at the time, he was not opening up to me, he had trust issues,etc.We also had some issues with chasitity(not intercourse but everything but) I didn't want to go back but continued to pray for him. Six months later, I began attending Mass at his parish becuase that was the only place nearby that offered Perpetual Adoration. We began talking again and the ling and short of it was that I asked him if he wanted to resume the relationship and he said yes.
Six months later, some hugh changes has happened within him. He has humbled himself a lot, really began to open up to me and is genuinely changing in a lot of ways. He was a great support to me through a very difficult time with my mom's illness and we do have a love for the Mass and Adoration. We have found out that we are compatible in many ways in terms of the mentals, having the same atttitudes about money, children, how a marriage ought to work,etc.
There are number of downsides......the chastity issues is still there, and has gotten more difficult the closer we have become( that is not to say I am ducking culpability). In addition, I am graduating in the next year and open now to be married ( I am 31). He while being in his mid-30's and single is not actively pursuing any vocation and still uncertain. Another twist to the story is that after graduation, I am obligated to stay three years in the country to fulfil scholarship obligations while he wants to migrateto further his career. He is professionally well off.
I am now fed up of having these chastity issues and while I have to play my part to avoid sin, I do feel that we are highly compatible and the best course would really be to be on the course to marriage. He defines our realtionship as "exploring each other".
Last night, I explained to him that I cannot go on like this and that it is unfair for him to be "exploring'' indefenitely while we are getting closer and closer, I asked that by the end of the year that he make up his mind if he wants to marry me or let me go to find someone who genunlely interested in being permanent.He has agrred that th eepriod is more than enough. As for me personally, I underestimated the strength of his physcial attraction to me and I have decided to to stop certain behaviours that lead us into unchastity as well as patch up my own spiritual life.
So my question is.......I am being too controlling here.....was I wrong? What do you think?