It is pretty heavily implied in the gospels, as well as in Catholic Tradition, that Judas was evil, a failed apostle, and the ultimate analogy for deceit and betrayal.
Yet is this reputation justified? Despite years of Catholic education, hatred and contempt for Judas has not come to me naturally.
I know he betrayed Jesus. Yet wasn’t Jesus supposed to be betrayed? Wasn’t his death and crufixtion necessary for the salvation of humanity? I suppose its different though, having it be inevitable that Jesus will be crucified, and someone knowingly being the cause of it.
More than any of the Judean peasents/citizens, Judas must have known who and what Jesus actually was. Could it be that he sold him out because of supreme contempt, rather than greed/dissapointment?
The gospels say that a “demon” entered Judas shortly after the Last Supper. Do we know if this means a literal demon, or just Judas’ rage/greed/dissapointment/despair coming to fruition?
I always sort of pitied him for the suicide too. I know it is wrong to kill oneself, but it seems the Church now accepts that most people who kill themselves are psychologically unwell, and often do so only under great mental duress/despair.
It seems Judas was so sorrowful for having killed Jesus, and somehow believed God/Jesus would never forgive him for it. So he killed himself in despair.
So what should I think of Judas? Was he really an evil/horrible person? Does anyone understand my conflict/confusion over him?