Was this a calling to religious life..?


I had a talk with a priest about things that are stressing me out, and one of them being that I am still single and pressure to get married from family, and also myself because I want to be married and have kids one day. I feel hopeless lately, and living in my house (can’t move out until married) is stressful. Anyway, the priest asked me to pray to find out if religious life is my calling, or if marriage life is my calling. I’ve been asking God every night since, that if religious life is my calling to give me a sign, and also if marriage life is my calling to give me a sign and bring my future spouse into my life soon. Today, I was watching an old episode of Beverly Hills 90210 (I record the episodes), and in this episode 4 of the girls in the cast were in a covenant. This made me think that maybe this might be my calling??? To be honest, I kind of got sad, because I truly want to be married. Then, one of the girls in the cast was talking to the nun and asked if her dream was a calling to be a nun, and the nun said that if she had to ask it wasn’t a calling. Should I take this episode as a calling to religious life?


So it would seem, I have a calling to the priest-hood, at first I didn’t want to, but I have later learned to love it, the more I learnt about it. I would start researching different orders and see which one strikes your heart most. :slight_smile:


No, you shouldn’t.

You should be patient, continue to pray, and trust that God will lead you.

If God sends you a sign (which I highly doubt He would anyway) do not be afraid that you have missed it. If He is calling you to a vocation, either way, He will lead you there and if you happen to miss any signs, He will still lead you there.

But…if you “truly want to be married”, I doubt a religious life is your calling. Part of God’s calling will be an internal disposition to that vocation, and it sounds like your current disposition is towards marriage. Just be patient and continue to pray.


Just because an angel didn’t descend from heaven and told her that her calling is to be a nun, doesn’t mean that she isn’t called to be one. The parents of St. Therese thought their calling was the religious life, her father even entered the seminary. After they were married, it took them a few years to warm up a bit, because they were so attached to their vocations in the religious life. Just because you want to be married, doesn’t mean your called to it. Like I said, research some religious orders, and see which ones interest you, you should even perhaps test it out and join the convent as a novice. Discern a bit there.


I only said “I doubt”, not that she isn’t called in that way, and that she should continue to pray about it.


^ Not true. There are several years of formation for someone discerning religious life, and this is a time for one to test their calling. Asking if it is a calling or not doesn’t signify that there is no call.

If you are attracted to married life and the thought of being a nun makes you miserable, pursue marriage, at least for the time being. Why be a bitter nun? If you have a vocation to religious life, God will help you to desire it.


Hey Cupcake,

I submit that a combination of the above suggestions would be helpful in discerning His will for your life.

There is nothing to lose by inquiring into various orders to see what they offer and what you have to offer them. You may also consider joining a 3rd Order. You could also join all the religious in prayer by taking up the LOTH and see how you take to that. Ask God for help in discerning His will, spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament and patiently do your best to listen.

I wouldn’t quit your job and join an order simply because of an episode of 90210 but I would surely keep the experience in mind as you continue your discernment process. God speaks to us in many ways every day. He is patient, you be too and I’m confident that the answers will come. Rest assured that whatever His will is, it will lead you to happiness that you cannot yet know so be patient, persistent and stay positive… God is in control.


I’m lapsed, non-practicing, what have you, but please let me tell you a story from when I was in college.

I was raised Catholic, but chose not to be confirmed. Short background - I ended up at a Wesleyan school, at the time self identified as Christian, no particular denomination.

Anyhow, I learned of an inter-collegiate retreat run by a nearby Franciscan college. Shortly after learning of the retreat, that small voice asked, “What if I called you to the priesthood?”

I went to the retreat. Actually, just getting to the retreat is a story all by itself. I ended up returning to the retreat center for mass semi-regularly and learned quite a bit. Life changing stuff.

I’m contentedly married now, though we met later in life. I think that God wanted me to be willing to accept such a call, not so much respond to an actual call.

I’m probably in the bottom 20 people on this board qualified to help you discern a calling. The internet in general is probably rather poor for that. But maybe right now you can explore your willingness to accept such a calling should a calling prove to be there.

Certainly visit some convents, nunneries, (I don’t know what today’s proper word is) and talk. Maybe even see if you could join them for a weekend. Most of all, don’t rush the journey. Sometimes walking the path is more important than making it through the woods.

Good luck - try not to stress over much - I literally only just now put words to this, but perhaps the most important thing I learned from those Franciscans was to embrace peace.


4 of the girls in the cast were in a covenant.

I think that you mean a convent, different than a covenant.

Why don’t you go on a discernment visit to a religious community or two? What do you have to lose?



Perhaps seeking out someone who can help you discern whether or not you really have a vocation would be helpful. Keep praying! :slight_smile:



Listen to God. He will tell you what you should do, and when He answers, you will miss it. There will be no doubts then.

And in a way we are all called to a religius life. Practising our faith is one call, and as I did write, if God call you to priesthood, you will not miss the hint. One that makes you wonder and being far from sure is not God calling you.

I hope you will find what you seek.


Oh! Oh! I can’t believe I forgot this, a vocations director could help greatly.


Sounds like you need some counseling, one on one, regarding your vocation and your family issues.

No, an episode of 90210 is NOT a sign you have a vocation to religious life. Your current unhappiness with your home life situation may be coloring your ability to think rationally and objectively.

Get help from an objective third party. Ask your pastor to recommend a counselor.

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