So, just as a bit of a warning, this topic is very embarrasing and not would you normally find on the forums: just a warning…also, you’ll see why this is hard to confess to a priest
I have severe hemorrhoids. but that isnt the possible sin lol, although it seems to be a frequent punishment in the OT. Often times, the itching and burning gets so intense that I cant not be distracted, and I have to deal with it. I’ve been using PrepH, but sometimes I just have to scratch (I told you this wasnt going to be pleasant…)
and so, when I do give in to the temptation to ‘appease’ my itch, I sometimes find that I cant keep from scratching, the feeling is so relieving. And so it seems to take on a sort of “I cant wait to get rid of this itch, it is going to feel sooo good” thing, and once I start scratching I keep at it for a while.
Well, with thinking about mortal sin, I have begun thinking that this is a disordered action. I’m not doing in a sexual way or anything like that, but it is the sort of giving into the temptation of the flesh and appeasing it, and taking some disordered happiness (that sometimes feels almost sexual, or at least i start accusing myself that it does).
and so, I confessed this to a priest once and he really had nothing to say. He didnt say whether or not it was mortal. I told him that I felt the drive to appease the temptation and then the feeling of relief that almost bordered on ecstatic was what I thought was grave (if u have had severe hemorrhoids, u may understand this.
on another note:
I am very concerned that I am starting to become overly scrupulous, to the point that I always think of sins before communion and reasons to not receive, even though they arent mortal (i try to tell myself that they are, especially in the example above)
i know this is a ton of info and that is actually very gross, it is embarassing for me and I appreciate any help that you can give. thanks to all.