Was this a valid Confession? Did I have true sorrow for my sins?


I have a continual problem with a certain set of related sins. I want to be free of them but I slip-up once and awhile.

On Friday I committed the two sins, and realized thereafter that I shouldn’t have done what I did. I committed the same sins again awhile later (this often seems to happen lately), and I resolved to seek Confession and try again. I even disposed of certain things that lead me to commit these sins the next day.

Now at no time during this ordeal did I actually feel remorse. I thought it best to receive Confession to wash the sins away, but I never felt anything.

So I went to Confession the next day, did as thorough an examination of consciousness as I could and went to Confession. Again, I felt nothing. And I told the priest that I felt nothing and wasn’t sure if I was truly sorry for what I did.

Nonetheless, near the end of the Confession, I felt relief and some bit of assurance that I was indeed being forgiven. But looking back on everything I still wasn’t sure if I was truly sorry or not.

What usually happens is I have a desire (although it seems I am sorta indifferent to it right at this moment…perhaps just a feeling) to stop sinning in this manner, but when the desire comes-around to commit these certain sins my desire to remain free of these sins weakens and eventually disappears altogether and I sin. I don’t know what to do here.

Is this sinful for me to think about these things now? Am I sinning by even asking this? Was I even sorry in the first place?

Pax Tecum.


Hey Lotus, you don’t have to have a “perfect contrition” to be forgiven at Confession. You just have to recognize your sins, as the Church teaches, and resolve to try not to commit them again. And you have to be honest with your priest. So it seems like you’re doing everything right, and if you continue you will grow in grace and you will start feeling more and more remorse for your sins - you will be “slain in the spirit”, as our Evangelical brothers like to say! And in addition to receiving the Sacraments, praying the Rosary daily will help you a lot. God bless.


I think sometimes it’s best not to examine our feelings in too great detail… you went to confession, that means that at least a part of you were sorry, even if you felt nothing. IMO. If you were truly unrepentant you wouldn’t have gone to confession but rejected God’s grace. You said in your post, you want to be free of these sins, that is good and God sees your heart :slight_smile: The good thing about confession is that we don’t need perfect contrition there, God’s grace still works in us.

So in my opinion… don’t doubt God’s mercy. Always trust in this. But there’s nothing wrong with wanting more contrition… perhaps this is something you could pray for. Ask God to soften your heart and to humble you, to show you what sin is, and then just focus on His mercy and love for you.
That last problem you mentioned, that might just be due to our human weakness and the flesh… maybe prayer and fasting might help there, but I’d really talk to a priest, cause I’m not sure.

God bless.


Contrition, or sorrow for sin, is not a feeling. It is the acknowledgment that you have done something wrong, and the resolution to avoid that sin in the future.

Sometimes feelings are involved in the process, but they are not necessarily a measure of our contrition.


I say yes, but the priest there really decided!

Keep working on it, reading why your sin is wrong and how to beat it.

The devil will attack people when they start to change and cast doubt. You are headed in the right direction.



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