Was this cooperation with evil?

Here’s the situation: My brother had been living with some roommates for a few years now, and was increasingly unhappy with the situation. So, he finally bought his own house, which is now a done deal. Currently it’ll just be him living there, and one of the roommates (male) from where he had been staying is apparently going to move in with him soon as well.

However, my brother has a girlfriend, and she is also set to move in at some point this summer. She will apparently have her own room, separate from my brother’s, which is better than the alternative, though I have still tried to let him know I disapprove of the arrangement. (Everyone is going to have their own separate room.) I have heard of no sexual relations between them, so I am trying to give the benefit of the doubt and hope that they will live chastely, though it could certainly be a near occasion of sin and not something *I’d *do.

He’s been finishing up moving in this weekend, and today I went with him to help move some of the heavier items. Even though I had wondered about this prior, today when I went with him, it had completely slipped my mind that maybe I shouldn’t be participating in this - as if in some way I am giving my approval of him moving in with his girlfriend? This didn’t hit me until we had already loaded up these items and were on our way to unload them at the new house, at which point I just didn’t know what to do.

So, my question is: Was this cooperation with evil? I helped move his stuff, and certainly have no intention of helping her move her things in, but, I just don’t know. I keep going around and around in my mind.

(I know this may sound scrupulous, which I tend to be, though since I’m not sure where this falls re: cooperation, I don’t know if full-consent, if indeed this was grave matter, is met. However, my reason for asking this has as much to with understanding cooperation with evil for any future occurrences.)

You’re being scrupulous. I myself have suffered from scrupulosity, to the point a priest I knew all but ordered me to see a psychologist. You’re fine.

It’s your brother’s house and his business. You have voiced your disapproval and he is responsible for his own actions (if any); you are just another roommate.

That’s not very friendly. Do you judge all the people you don’t know?

Trust them, they are adults. If they have seperate rooms, it’s noy your place to police them.

Thank you. It sure ain’t fun, is it?

I myself won’t actually be living there; it’s just an arrangement I’m uncomfortable with. Obviously, as far as that goes, there’s only so much I can do. My question had more to do with a fear of helping make a (potentially) sinful arrangement happen.

I worded that poorly. All I meant was I disagree with cohabitation before marriage and did not want to be a party in helping it happen. Even with separate rooms, if it’s boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s quite possibly near occasion of sin. I’m supposed to help that happen? That’s where my initial question stems from. I’m not against the act of helping someone move in and of itself.

It’s not so much a “policing” matter that I’m concerned with; I know there’s not much I can do beyond what I’ve already done. My question had more to do with helping him move, and whether that was a cooperation with making cohabitation happen.

no, it wasn’t

take it from another scrupulous person.

she hasn’t moved there yet. and maybe it won’t even end up happening. you were just moving your brother’s stuff

it may have been more prudent for you to not help if she had been moving at the same time, or as you said, moving her stuff in later on but if it rises to level of grave matter, I can’t say.

I am kind of wondering something similar myself. My sister who is divorced without an annulment is thinking about following her boyfriend when he moves to start school at a college sometime this summer, I think they would be living in the same house. My parents mentioned they would probably help her move, I wouldn’t be helping because I can’t take off work. I was thinking of whether or not I should talk to my parents about this issue. I will ask around to see what I should say to my parents and the possibility of cooperation with evil.

Thank you! I’d feel much more comfortable if her moving in fell through, but needless to say, I don’t have much say or control in that matter.

No, I don’t think this was cooperation with evil on your part, it is his house and you are helping him move into it. Whatever he does with it afterwards falls on him. But good for you for voicing your disapproval. It is important that we let the ones we love know when they are walking into danger.

I think it is honorable of you to continue to stand on the grounds of not helping move his girlfriend in. It’s not uncaring or rude, it’s holy steadfastness and holy shamelessness. If you were to participate in helping her move, it would be debatable as to if this was cooperation with scandal. Cohabitation of young, unmarried couples definitely leads to the occasion of sin. If not, good for them and their sanctity. But I agree with not promoting the idea, especially since the Church directly advises against non-marital cohabitation…same room or not. If they fall into sin, they will need to go to reconciliation. Reconciliation requires contrition, and contrition requires a resolution “to avoid the near occasion of sin”…if they have no resolution to avoid the occasion, then they have no contrition and thus their sins may not be properly absolved. But of course, the desire of the flesh and the idea that “they can control themselves” might keep them cohabitating even after a fall. So no, I would continue to not support this by any means. Good for you and your holy steadfastness.

The Way - St. Josemaria Escriva:
396
Holy steadfastness is not intolerance.

399
If in order to save an earthly life it is praiseworthy to use force to stop a man from committing suicide, are we not to be allowed use the same force — holy coercion — to save the Life (with a capital) of many who are stupidly bent on killing their souls?

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