Was this wrong of me?...


#1

I am going to explain what happened as best as I can...

My friend (recently have became friends but she is a devout Catholic and we get along) asked me for a favor. Her family does not live here, so she was visiting them and had asked a mutual friend to take her to the airport the day she left Michigan. This mutual friend was telling me that it was annoying for her because the drive was far, she got lost, etc. (she gets lost a lot and is not good with driving far or directions). Anyway, I had a feeling she would ask me to pick her up from the airport, and she did. She asked me, and I just basically told her the truth and said I wanted to go to mass instead of Sunday, but then I asked her where the airport was, and what city (it is about a 40 minute drive for me, and she lives about 25-30 minutes from my house) I asked for the address, and said I could come if she doesn't have anyone else and some other stuff, but basically i had told her that I would come.

I talked with our mutual friend right after, and was telling her about it, and I told her I didn't really want to, etc. One of the reasons I didn't want to was because I wanted to go out at night, and I knew I wouldn't be able to if I picked her up. Another reason of course is the driving. So, my friend convinced me to tell her no and to just tell her something as to why I can't. I didn't want to lie, but at the same time I wasn't planning on doing what I told her I wanted to do. I did want to get a haircut and hot oil treatment done, but not the day she asked me for the favor. Well, I basically gave that as an excuse, and so I planned on just really doing that. I also told her I wanted to run errands and stuff I needed to do(which I did have few errands to do). I didn't want to lie, but I talked to my sister afterwards about it, and my sister is the type to make up "white lies" to people because she thinks it's more rude to tell them excuses such as mine, which aren't good reasons to tell someone no. I don't like lying, but my sister basically said made me think it was wrong of me to tell her something I truly wasn't planning on doing that day. To make it clear, I said "I remembered I wanted to..." I didn't say I was going to, but I was going to actually just do it so that it wouldn't be a lie. Sorry, I know this sounds confusing, but I am trying to explain it the best way I can. Anyway, my sister kind of made me feel bad (she wasn't trying to do that), but she does have a point about what I did. Was this wrong of me?

To be honest, I also just feel like she wouldn't do it for me (even though I don't know for sure).


#2

From what I gather you lied to her. Yes, this was wrong.


#3

[quote="oldcatholicguy, post:2, topic:306171"]
From what I gather you lied to her. Yes, this was wrong.

[/quote]

The thing is, I don't believe I lied, because I didn't say I was doing something that I wasn't; I said "I remember I wanted to".. but is it wrong because I switched around what I originally was going to do, and did what I told her I wanted to do in order for it not to be a lie? That's what I was wondering.


#4

If you don't believe you've lied what's wrong?


#5

You lied and said you had plans (I remember I wanted to) then created plans to cover your lie. It’s still a lie. It’s still wrong.


#6

[quote="oldcatholicguy, post:5, topic:306171"]
You lied and said you had plans (I remember I wanted to) then created plans to cover your lie. It's still a lie. It's still wrong.

[/quote]

Ok, that makes sense.. and you're right. I guess, at the time I was trying not to lie that I thought I could just make the plans and actually do it so it wouldn't be a lie. But, I guess the part where I said I wanted to get a haircut was a lie, because I wasn't planning on getting one that day, but than I tried to cover it up by actually make an appointment and going (which I did). Now I feel bad :(

When I go to confession, should I confess this whole situation, or could I just said I lied to a friend who asked for a favor?


#7

[quote="Yogi89, post:6, topic:306171"]
Ok, that makes sense.. and you're right. I guess, at the time I was trying not to lie that I thought I could just make the plans and actually do it so it wouldn't be a lie, but now that I am writing it, it would be a lie if that wasn't what I really was planning to do.:(

When I go to confession, should I confess this whole situation, or could I just said I lied to a friend who asked for a favor?

[/quote]

Confession- yes, if Father wants details he'll ask you for them.
Your friend- up to you, Father could give you advice on how to deal with it


#8

[quote="Yogi89, post:6, topic:306171"]
When I go to confession, should I confess this whole situation, or could I just said I lied to a friend who asked for a favor?

[/quote]

Say, "I lied one time. "

No details. Just the sin by name and number. If Father wants details he will ask.


#9

Next time remember what Jesus said...."let your yes be yes and your no be no". Much simpler that way, no need to think of excuses. Just be polite when refusing.


#10

Actually. I don't think you lied about the hair appointment either. You pretty much told her that you had decided to get your hair done instead of pick her up, which is what you did. I'm not sure why you sister thinks that's kinder, but whatever. The part where you lied is when you told your friend that you were willing to pick her up when you weren't. For this, I would apologize to your friend, since you bailed on her and left her in an unfortunate situation.


#11

Yogi,
If I may suggest an idea. Do things for others for free without expecting someone to return the favor. If we do things because someone will owe us one, this is not charity, it is behaving like robbers and theives, and that is what Jesus said. Jesus said to love one another without expecting anything in return. That is what he did his whole life.

A thought.


#12

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