It feels hopeless. It is the exception rather than the rule that my husband and I make it through a cycle without doing something illicit. I loathe and despite NFP. Pregnancy is just NOT a good option for serious physical and mental reasons. However I sometimes just think maybe we should just give up and that way we don’t sin and just be providentialists since we just can’t do it. But then it sounds so stupid to think that having a ton of kids I can handle, being horribly ill and risking my health in pregnancy is a better option.
Theoretically we ought to be able to abstain. No one forces us to do anything. But it’s always easier said than done. Everyone sins in areas that they don’t want to and keep falling over and over. I am just sick of this though. I think if I actually felt/believe that birth control was always wrong in every circumstance it might be easier. But we don’t. We understand that is what the Church teaches but it seems very wrong. It only seems right physically, mentally and spiritually to “be together”.
I just feel like a total failure and that we have no hope of not sinning in this area. It doesn’t help that the last time we went to confession our priest who has otherwise always seemed very orthodox told my husband that he can’t say we should use birth control…but… Get the jist? That he just really didn’t see how the alternative was better in some circumstances.