We need Chuck on our side!

We should pray for Mr. Norris and his conversion to the Catholic Faith…
-He could run for President
-Be the Pope’s personal body guard
-Eliminate heretics
-Assist St. Michael in defeating Hell


Most are really good, but there are a few unecessary things as to be expected with secular humor.

I imagine the crime rate around the area where he lives is minus ( you fill in the #).

I dunno about that…

Chuck Norris would never pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet–because Chuck Norris never begs for mercy.



That’s pretty good!

Saint Michael recites the Chuck Norris prayer every morning.

(hee hee – this is kinda fun!)

I say let Dennis Haysbert (of The Unit) run for VP along with Chuck. Dennis Haysbert is so cool and tough, yet tender and sensitive–the perfect man! He can do anything.

And then get Robert Patrick to be the Secretary of State! According to John Cena, Robert Patrick is the “roughest toughest guy he’s ever met!”

Hey, we’re all laughing, but one of the best Prezs we’ve ever had was an ex-actor! And one of the best Senators we ever had was an ex-singer (Sonny Bono). IMO, we need to stop electing lawyers (AKA snakes) to positions of leadership in the U.S.

Moses lifted His staff to part the waters so the Isrealites could flee…but Pharoh and his Army pursued…then Chuck Norris showed up and roundhouse kicked all the Egyptians in the face! Moses was so surprised that he let down his staff and the water fell upon the Egyptians. Chuck Norris escaped unharmed.

Surely there’s room for Ah-nie in his cabinet somewhere. Guns beat roundhouse kicking in the whupping-Pharoah’s-army stakes any day.

On serious note Chuck Norris is Christian and I think people would actually listen to him.

Ah, if not, and people didn’t listen, he could do things how Constantine did, except Chuck Norris wouldn’t need an army…he is the army! :smiley:

I forgot the actors name, but he played Chuck Norris’ faithful sidekick and Texas Ranger on the TV show, it is my understanding he is a quite outspoken and faithful Catholic.


Oh yeah, good call, that guy is cool too!
James “Jimmy” Trivette
His real name is Clarence Gilyard…I bet he’d make an excellent V.P. with Mr. Norris as president!

The only problem is that we’d have another Cold War on our hands since Vladimir Putin is a blackbelt in Judo!
OR…maybe then we could finally join forces with Russia and eliminate the N.W.O.!!!

At night, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Peter used a sword to cut off the servant’s ear. Chuck Norris would have used his foot.

Remember how when the Roman soldiers came to arrest Jesus, and he said “I am He”, and then they all fell to the ground? Chuck Norris.

I think Our Lord once said
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle…
…If it is on the receiving end of a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.


I will put enmities between thee and the woman, and thy seed and her seed: she shall roundhouse kick thy head, and thou shalt lie in wait for her heel. Because thou knowst there is no way thou wilt avoid it.

Get thy affairs in order. Seriously.
[RIGHT]GeNorris 3:15[/RIGHT]


I like this one! :thumbsup:

Apparently there was "lost’ fourth page on the accompanying letter Pope Benedict wrote with the Moto Proprio Summorum Pontificum 7 July 2007.
It summarized and restated that the Moto Proprio takes effect September 14th 2007 for a wider use of the Traditional Latin Mass, but also mentioned:
"…and if you’ve got a problem with this, you will answer to Chuck Norris!"
No one at the Vatican is sure yet what happened to the fourth page, but when the culprit is found, you better believe they will regret the day they crossed: Pope Benedict XVI a.k.a. "The German Shepherd, and Chuck Norris!!!

It is well known that James and John were called the sons of thunder.

It is less well known that the thunder was called the son of Chuck Norris.


Alot of people don’t know this, but the reason St. Paul won in his debate with St. Peter about whether or not the Gentiles had to be circumsized was because it he brought with him…Chuck Norris!

That is very interesting to put him in that era. God had asked St. Paul (then Saul) why he was persecuting the Church and then St. Paul “fell to the ground” according to Chapter 9 of Acts. Often God will send angels to do His works…perhaps we now can deduce that it was in fact Chuck Norris that was sent this time?

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