Wearing sunglasses at a Funeral


#1

Hi I was just wondering what peoples thoughts were on people wearing ‘sunnies’ (Australian slang for sunglasses) during funeral services to hide their tears?

I have no problem with this, but is there any church requirement regarding it (i.e. that a person cannot wear them) or is it just personal preference


#2

[quote="james_neville, post:1, topic:293930"]
Hi I was just wondering what peoples thoughts were on people wearing 'sunnies' (Australian slang for sunglasses) during funeral services to hide their tears?

I have no problem with this, but is there any church requirement regarding it (i.e. that a person cannot wear them) or is it just personal preference

[/quote]

I don't think so.


#3

[quote="james_neville, post:1, topic:293930"]
Hi I was just wondering what peoples thoughts were on people wearing 'sunnies' (Australian slang for sunglasses) during funeral services to hide their tears?

I have no problem with this, but is there any church requirement regarding it (i.e. that a person cannot wear them) or is it just personal preference

[/quote]

A church requirement? To not wear sunglasses?

To what end?

Why would you think that there might be a rule?

And No, the priest did not tell me what I could or couldn't wear when I attended two funerals last year.


#4

I just thought it might be similar to not wearing hats at mass.


#5

[quote="james_neville, post:4, topic:293930"]
I just thought it might be similar to not wearing hats at mass.

[/quote]

It's not really a question of "church law" as it is proper etiquette.


#6

Sunglasses are just glasses. Lots of people have to wear glasses whether to see or to provide eye protection from light. (And sometimes people need protection indoors.) If they need protection from having people see their tears then so be it.

I know I have sometimes worn my prescription sunglasses when I have been at funerals.


#7

Jesus cried, so there is no reason to hide your tears.
There is no rule about wearing or not wearing sunglasses. I personally wear transition lenses (formerly photo-greys) because of sensitivity to the sun. There is nothing to keep a person from wearing sunglasses to protect eyes from the sun during the burial service.


#8

I don't have a problem with it.


#9

I noticed a few European Bishops who concelebrated Mass with the Pope outdoors had sunglasses on. Looks scandalous to us here but for them it's not disrespectful.

Anyway people would understand that at a funeral, sunglasses are akin to the black veil a widow might wear. I'd say it's totally fine to wear it in terms of etiquette.

About wearing hats at Mass, this is also an etiquette thing. Women can even in church in the daytime up till 5:30 PM when evening technically starts (though even that would look weird this day and age in most places), but men never can unless if there is religious or professional reasoning behind it.

I've been studying etiquette for years and a lot of the rules are useless nowadays.


#10

[quote="PazzoGrande, post:9, topic:293930"]
I noticed a few European Bishops who concelebrated Mass with the Pope outdoors had sunglasses on. Looks scandalous to us here but for them it's not disrespectful.

[/quote]

Us where? Do you mean 'here, US'?


#11

[quote="Hokomai, post:10, topic:293930"]
Us where? Do you mean 'here, US'?

[/quote]

yep my bad for not clarifying


#12

I don't see a problem with it at the graveside service. In church, yes, but at the graveside service, especially in summer it's almost necessary. I know where i'm from you almost have to.


#13

[quote="PazzoGrande, post:9, topic:293930"]
About wearing hats at Mass, this is also an etiquette thing. Women can even in church in the daytime up till 5:30 PM when evening technically starts (though even that would look weird this day and age in most places), but men never can unless if there is religious or professional reasoning behind it.

I've been studying etiquette for years and a lot of the rules are useless nowadays.

[/quote]

Even though it is no longer mandatory, women can wear hats in church at any time. We are not bound by "etiquette" in this matter but solely by our personal piety.


#14

[quote="benjammin, post:12, topic:293930"]
I don't see a problem with it at the graveside service. In church, yes, but at the graveside service, especially in summer it's almost necessary. I know where i'm from you almost have to.

[/quote]

Why would you have a problem with sunglasses in church?


#15

Sometimes people have to wear sunglasses because the light, even dim light, hurts their eyes. Light is even more even painful for these people when they cry and their eyes are irritated.

Light-sensitivity can be caused by various medications.

My workplace supervisor has this problem. She does a lot of her work in very dim light, and she often slips on a pair of sunglasses during the day indoors because the light hurts her eyes.

Another possibility is that the mourner normally wears contact lenses, but it unable to wear them due to crying. Perhaps the sunglasses are the only pair of glasses at their prescription that they own.

Even if the cause of the sunglasses is not light-sensitivity or contact lens situations, I think at a funeral, we need to be especially charitable to those who are mourning and encourage them to do whatever comforts them provided that it is not blasphemous or indecent. There are many people who are very uncomfortable with crying in front of others, so why shouldn't they wear dark glasses if it helps them to make it through the various public memorials?


#16

I wear sunglasses to funerals because my eyes swell really bad from crying or sunlight. No one has said anything to me not even the priest

Ana


#17

[quote="Phemie, post:14, topic:293930"]
Why would you have a problem with sunglasses in church?

[/quote]

I guess I just don't see it as proper, IDK why. Maybe it's just me being weird. I guess I also think of sunglasses as things you wear outdoors


#18

What you are wearing is less important than the reason you are going. You are going to support the family. I recently attended the funeral of a close friend in dirty jeans, a dirty work shirt, and well worn boots. Leaving directly from work was the only way I could make it there in time, so that's what I did. I don't think it is right to let the attire overshadow the purpose behind going.

This is not to say that you should deliberately not care about how you look, but don't get all worked up about it. If you have to wear sunglasses for medical reasons, or just want to because it's bright outside, I don't see any reason not to. If it was my funeral or someone in my family's, I wouldn't find it disrespectful at all and would want you to wear them if it makes you comfortable.


#19

I wore sunglasses at the burial for my grandmother at the cemetery and no one said anything. Many did so as well, then again it was a hot summer day. I am not offended if people wear sunglasses inside if they want to hide their puffy eyes or their eyes are sensitive to light.


#20

I've worn sunglasses at funerals and I've worn sunglasses at regular Sunday Masses when the light coming through the windows just happens to be coming right at my eyes.

Quite frankly, I prefer to have a limited ability to see other people crying at funerals. It's not because I find crying inappropriate; it's because crying, like yawning, is contagious. It's really hard to speak and/or sing the responses and songs when crying and a fair number of the funerals I attend are because I'm singing as part of a funeral choir.


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