Wedding a Salvationst, Urgent Advice Needed!


#1

I`m also a Catholic getting married to a Salvationist. We have been married customary for the past three years and now want to get real by getting married as Christains. My church is refusing me the opportunity to get married in the Salvation Army. We had earlier on agreed with my fiance/wife to be, that we get married in the Salvation Army and then go to the Catholic church for a blessing and acceptance to which it was said that we should choose either of the two. She is not prepared to convert to Catholism but she has been attending Mass with me. We agreed in principle that our children will be raised in the Catholic church.

As it is we have compromised all our plans. We have invited about 420people to witness our big day.We have done everything for this day. We do not know who is going to minister our wedding. I have explained the importance of my Catholic Doctrine and she understands it all and the Catholics do not recognise wedding by other denominations. We still talking to our families, the priests and salvation army officers about it. We are not sure of the outcome. If you have any ideas and advice you can offer us please assist. We had scheduled our wedding days as the 3rd and 4th of December 2005. We wanted t start at the Salvation Army on 3rd and then move on the Catholic church on the 4th. All is in place. Please help because I do not know what to do now!


#2

The best I think I can do is offer to pray for your situation.

I lovingly, sweetly, gently remind you that no matter what the denomination of your fiancee, you, as a Catholic, should have started with the priest the minute you were engaged, and gone from there. I also realize that doesn’t help you now. The priest needs to fill out forms to ask the bishop to dispense with form, ie let you get married by the Salvationists and have it “count”. If you did not have a good idea that being Catholic meant your parish church was the scene of your wedding if you were marrying a Protestant, then you still should have checked all the wedding planning literature. It would have told you the same thing.

Is a civil ceremony what you are terming “customary”? This confuses me. If you are not married in the Church, you need to go to confession if you have not already done so, and stop living as if you are married (it’s termed “living as brother and sister”).

If it were me, I’d ask the priest for a time-table, see what could be done about paying holding deposits to change dates, and send announcements that things have been changed (any good etiquette book has the form for these).


#3

I am confused as well, but probably because I do not know a great deal about the Salvation Army and its religious practices.

Have you received a dispensation to marry outside the Church? Do you even need one? What does your priest say on this matter and, if your faith is important to you, are you willing to practice the virtue of obedience around this particular issue?

You are in my prayers. I cannot imagine the feelings of confusion you must be having right now. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and don’t let the idea of embarrassment or inconvenience get between you and the Truth.


#4

[quote=ndodana]I`m also a Catholic getting married to a Salvationist. We have been married customary for the past three years and now want to get real by getting married as Christains. My church is refusing me the opportunity to get married in the Salvation Army. We had earlier on agreed with my fiance/wife to be, that we get married in the Salvation Army and then go to the Catholic church for a blessing and acceptance to which it was said that we should choose either of the two. She is not prepared to convert to Catholism but she has been attending Mass with me. We agreed in principle that our children will be raised in the Catholic church.

As it is we have compromised all our plans. We have invited about 420people to witness our big day.We have done everything for this day. We do not know who is going to minister our wedding. I have explained the importance of my Catholic Doctrine and she understands it all and the Catholics do not recognise wedding by other denominations. We still talking to our families, the priests and salvation army officers about it. We are not sure of the outcome. If you have any ideas and advice you can offer us please assist. We had scheduled our wedding days as the 3rd and 4th of December 2005. We wanted t start at the Salvation Army on 3rd and then move on the Catholic church on the 4th. All is in place. Please help because I do not know what to do now!
[/quote]

What a dilemma! I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. What you need to do is to demand an up or down from the priest, or go directly to the Bishop. Worst case scenario would be, to have a civil ceremony and work backwards, or else call off the wedding and call the 420.
Jesus worked His first miracle at a wedding, I’m sure that if you pray He’ll help you out with this, both of you, pray together.
This CAN be resolved, you’re just talking to the wrong folks, anyone who would let the two of you just hang out there at this late is downright sadistic!!! Is there a part of this situation that you’re withholding?


#5

[quote=Wondering Waif]What a dilemma! I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. What you need to do is to demand an up or down from the priest, or go directly to the Bishop. Worst case scenario would be, to have a civil ceremony and work backwards, or else call off the wedding and call the 420.
Jesus worked His first miracle at a wedding, I’m sure that if you pray He’ll help you out with this, both of you, pray together.
This CAN be resolved, you’re just talking to the wrong folks, anyone who would let the two of you just hang out there at this late is downright sadistic!!! Is there a part of this situation that you’re withholding?
[/quote]

One more thing, what is “married customary”, that’s a new one on me.


#6

Thanks good people for your prayers for us!! Customary marriage is a negotiated, celebrated or concluded according to any of systems of indegenous African customary law which exist in Southern Africa.It is our tradition that before getting married in the church, one has to follow certain formalities these are: 1. Introductions, 2. Bride Prize payment formality, 3. Giving away of the Bride, and then final 4. Wedding - Church. We have gone through those formalities what is left for us is to tie a knot in the church because we want to start a family. Customary, this marriage is recognised to be a valid marriage. Most people in this part of the world are married customary.

My case has been taken up to the Arch-Bishop for dispensation though Im not sure and knowledgeable about it. But from my Parish priests explaination it seems will the ease our complications. At this point in time we can not call off the wedding because it will be costly for me. As it is Im heavly indebted, I have to do it once and progress in life. These are really testing times in my life. It is not easy at all with my limited resources.Im praying for the best outcome and the success of our marriage.

Thank you once again for your contributions, I appreciate them. God Bless you!


#7

[quote=ndodana]Thanks good people for your prayers for us!! Customary marriage is a negotiated, celebrated or concluded according to any of systems of indegenous African customary law which exist in Southern Africa.It is our tradition that before getting married in the church, one has to follow certain formalities these are: 1. Introductions, 2. Bride Prize payment formality, 3. Giving away of the Bride, and then final 4. Wedding - Church. We have gone through those formalities what is left for us is to tie a knot in the church because we want to start a family. Customary, this marriage is recognised to be a valid marriage. Most people in this part of the world are married customary.

My case has been taken up to the Arch-Bishop for dispensation though Im not sure and knowledgeable about it. But from my Parish priests explaination it seems will the ease our complications. At this point in time we can not call off the wedding because it will be costly for me. As it is Im heavly indebted, I have to do it once and progress in life. These are really testing times in my life. It is not easy at all with my limited resources.Im praying for the best outcome and the success of our marriage.

Thank you once again for your contributions, I appreciate them. God Bless you!
[/quote]

If you are Catholic, then why not get married in the Catholic church FIRST? Something isn’t making sense here.
~ Kathy ~


#8

[quote=Katie1723]If you are Catholic, then why not get married in the Catholic church FIRST? Something isn’t making sense here.
~ Kathy ~
[/quote]

I think that it’s a case of different Catholic cultures, since I’m in the USA I forget that there’s other ways of doing things in our ONE- HOLY- CATHOLIC and APOSTOLIC church.


#9

I am a devout Catholic and this is the reason why I had to seek advice from my brothers and sisters in Christ. The cultures may differ but we are of one Holy universal Catholic Church. Help me find a way out!


#10

[quote=ndodana]I`m also a Catholic getting married to a Salvationist. We have been married customary for the past three years and now want to get real by getting married as Christains. My church is refusing me the opportunity to get married in the Salvation Army.

… December 2005. We wanted t start at the Salvation Army on 3rd and then move on the Catholic church on the 4th. All is in place. Please help because I do not know what to do now!
[/quote]

to be married in the Catholic Church you must begin preparations at least 6 months before the wedding date, and part of that preparation will be discussion of the pitfalls of marrying a non-Catholic. by Customery I assume you mean a civil marriage, so you would need to attend a Convalidation Conference or similar class if you wish to have your civil marriage blessed by the Church. Another part of this preparation will be ascertaining if you are both free to marry (no previous marriages, divorces etc. or other impediments). Preparation also includes instructing the non-Catholic party on the duties you, the Catholic partner, will have to maintain your practice of the faith and have your children baptized and raised Catholic - Salvation Army does not do infant baptism. You will also need a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic.

these rules are to protect marriage and insure its success, and to protect you from losing your faith, they are not artificial barriers.

It is also very likely that the SA will strongly discourage your marriage as they are a fundamentalist sect with a strong anti-Catholic bias, and will work strenuously to bring you and any children into the SA fold.

You must visit your priest without delay for counselling on this matter.

also, you cannot get married twice. the ceremony will either be in the Catholic Church (preferred) or in extraordinary cases a dispensation can be granted to have it elsewhere, but there is not such thing as two valid ceremonies.


#11

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