I recently became Catholic (RCIA class of 2017-Woot!). I also recently got engaged to my awesome fiancé, who is non-catholic. My fiancé is very supporting in my desire to go through marriage prep through the Catholic Church. He was raised as a Christian but struggles with his faith. Originally, we wanted to get married at my parish. I am the only Catholic in my family and in his family. I have had very interesting conversations with members of his family. Many family members have expressed concerns about us getting married in a Catholic Church. It’s weird because they support our upcoming marriage and relationship, but are very nervous/ concerned/ won’t attend our wedding because it would be held in a Catholic Church.
As a way to help members of our family be more comfortable. We are considering having our wedding in a library on the campus where my fiance and I attended college. The library is not a tradation library it’s a research library with a chapel. The day of the ceremony it will be closed to the public and the library wedding coordinator informed us that they only hold weddings once a month.
I contacted my priest about recieving more information about marriage prep and more information about a dispensation form. I keep reminding my fiancé not to get too excited if the dispensation is not granted and that we need to have a plan B in place. In a very recent conversation with my mom, who is non-catholic, she is very excited about our wedding and having it held in the library. She is sold on the idea. She brought her check book when we went to look at the venue to write out a check for the deposit. She ended up not being able since our wedding is a year and a half away.
I am feeling stressed, because I don’t know what to do. Both my parents don’t really like the Catholic Church. I hosted them last year for Easter and they attended Mass with me. They complained afterwards of the priest homily. They refused to come to my confirmation the following week on Divine Mercy Sunday. I tried to give them the contact information for my priest just to have in case they had questions. My mom refused to take the card.
She told me it was unfair that the Catholic Church would not let me take communion for six months if we went the civil ceremony option. I know if we chose this option I would feel really hurt, but I understand the reason why.
I just really hurt and stressed, because when I come and visit them I attend their church and I don’t say anything. When they say negative things about the Catholic Church I usually don’t say anything because I don’t want to offend. My parents are so loving and supportive but I feel like I can’t fully express my faith when I am around them. Any advice? I have a meeting set up with my priest in a couple of weeks.