Wedding gift when not attending reception


#1

I’m invited to my friend’s wedding, but not the reception. What’s the gift etiquette for such a scenario?


#2

what it always is for a wedding, whenever one is announced by any of your friends and relations, whether or not you are invited to any part of the celebration.

if you are so moved for your affection for one or both parties that you are inspired to send a gift, do so, but they of course have no such expectation and will simply be thrilled and grateful to receive any token from you


#3

If you would like to send a gift ahead also I’m sure the couple would appreciate it. Lots of gift registeries have the option of sending the gift to an address the couple has selected straight from the store.


#4

I found this on an etiquette website:

"Guests invited to the wedding have an obligation to send a gift, whether they are attending or not. There are few exceptions. If you live far away from where the wedding will take place and have been out of touch with the couple for several years, and are not planning to attend the wedding, there's no need to send a gift."

I think this also holds true for those that are invited to the wedding but not the reception, though personally I think it's quite rude to send an invite to one and not the other, unless it's a church wedding, which at least for catholics are public (so yeah, people can walk in off the street if they wanted).

If you are only attending the wedding, and you do choose to send a gift, it should be sent ahead of time. Traditionally, no gifts should be brought to the reception, either, since it would appear the couple and/or the giver was showcasing the gift, but I think most people don't really follow that anymore, at least if they're only giving something small or some cash.

You can probably find more info by searching for emily post or other such websites.

Of course, there should be no mention of gifts (not even to say they don't want any), or cash, or registry websites on wedding or reception invites. Most people ignore this, though, and one of my friends sent out her own shower invites.. but I love her so I overlooked it. :D


#5

I would send a gift! It is always a lovely gesture, since they felt honored enough to have you at their wedding. Sometimes people like to have smaller, intimate receptions or can't afford to feed all of their wedding attendees. If you are worried about it getting to them, maybe send it with someone that you know for a fact is going to the reception?


#6

I have never heard of inviting someone to the wedding and not the reception. I thought it was kinda a given that they went together?

You should still send a gift. It's the right thing to do.


#7

[quote="insideitall, post:4, topic:232350"]
I found this on an etiquette website:

"Guests invited to the wedding have an obligation to send a gift, whether they are attending or not.

[/quote]

the website is all wet
there is no such obligation
ask Miss Manners


#8

Really? So I have been sending gifts all these years and I didn’t have to? LOL!

Personally, I would be wondering why I wasn’t invited to the reception?:shrug:


#9

[quote="dailey, post:8, topic:232350"]
Really? So I have been sending gifts all these years and I didn't have to? LOL!

Personally, I would be wondering why I wasn't invited to the reception?:shrug:

[/quote]

Well, their reception will only be attended by "select" guests. In a few months, they are probably going to have a casual get-together potluck for some friends. My girlfriend thought it was funny they were having a potluck... but it's not the reception.


closed #10

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