I’m going to be buying one in the near future. I got to thinking that quite possibly I DON’T want to go with a diamond. #1 - Why conform? #2 - neither of us believe in spending a ton on jewelry. #3 - there are some moral issues with the diamond industry!
So, I am looking for ideas for alternate stones. I would love to hear from some of the people here about what is popular with devout Catholics. Thanks.
In case you change your mind and go with diamonds, we have some great ones from here in Canada:thumbsup: .
As for other ideas, I think just plain wedding bands (with or without a design) are beautiful. You can find them in yellow or white gold (in 10, 14, or 24K). They also make them in stainless steel.
But it’s your marriage and you have to wear the jewellery…what do you and your future spouse like? I personally think you could go with absolutely anything that you want. There are sooo many choices!!!
Are you talking about an engagement ring (which traditionally has some type of stone & is usually just for the lady) or wedding bands (which sometimes have stones & are for both lady and gent)?
I picked out my own engagement ring, and after looking and looking, finally went with something like this anniversary ring, in platinum, with a plain platinum band for me from Sam’s Club. Hubby has a plain gold wedding band.
I’m pretty rough on my hands, and a protruding stone would’ve gotten pretty beat-up pretty fast. I chose platinum for the same reason–it’s one of the hardest metals.
If you want something without a stone that isn’t a plain band you might want to look into something like a Russian wedding ring - which is made up of three interlocked bands. Tradition is that each band represents one of the persons of the Trinity.
Traditionally each of the three bands is a slightly different colour - normal (yellow) gold (representing God the Father), rosy-coloured gold (Jesus the son) and silver or white gold (the Holy Spirit). Here’s a pic of one. Obviously the bands are spread out a little so you can see them better - not worn that way normally:
I’m really fond of poesy rings (just google poesy rings). they have inscriptions around the outer band of love sentiments in other languages or in english as well. (We chose gaelic since we’re irish.) Also my engagement ring contains our birth stones along with diamonds.
I don’t see any problem with gold & no stone. I happen to love the appearance of emeralds myself although I don’t own any. You can use any reasonable material or stone you like – there is no particular reason a diamond is needed, just a hundred years of advertising.
I certainly agree with a desire to avoid extravagance. although that is somewhat relative to your circumstances. When I got married I was pretty broke but we found a pair of bands, each of which has a tiny diamond chip embedded that is just visible if you have good eyesight. I could certainly afford a more expensive replacement now, and probably would if I needed to buy one, but I prefer to keep the original, which I have never taken off since the wedding over 25 years ago.
There is a huge advantage in having a ring that does not protrude too much. A plain and simple ring doesn’t cause problems and “goes with everything”. Fancy & color-corrdinated jewelry if either of you want any should be worn in addition to the wedding ring.
Oooh, this is really beautiful. I love the story behind it, too.
My husband and I went with plain white gold bands for the actual wedding rings (and saved a ton of money over buying fancy bands). He gave me a solitare diamond on a simple white gold band for an engagement ring, so my rings look like a set, even though that was not intentional. Honestly, my ring would be just as pretty if the solitare was a ruby, sapphire, emerald, etc. I’ve even seen engagement rings with pearls.
[quote=StephanieC]Are you talking about an engagement ring (which traditionally has some type of stone & is usually just for the lady) or wedding bands (which sometimes have stones & are for both lady and gent)?
I had the same question…???
Before DH proposed, he planned on passing on his great-grandmother’s wedding band to me (solid gold, plain band)…
So he specifically went out to find a gold-banded diamond (very simple) for my engagement ring, so that they would match…
I tend to prefer the simple gold bands for the wedding rings… and use any other stones for the bride’s engagement ring… just my opinion.
If you’re talking about engagement rings, have you talked to your future spouse about this? She may want a diamond. I know of a couple, the man was convinced not to get a real diamond for reasons you stated, and the girl went along with it, convincing herself this is what she wanted, but I could tell the disappointment on her face when she was talking about it. Not because she was frivolous either.
When it came down to me getting engaged, my husband had asked me what I wanted since we had had this discussion with the couple I mentioned above. My mom told me to just let him get me a diamond if he wanted b/c he wasn’t getting it for any of the above reasons, but he felt I was worth spending that amount of money and he wanted it to be special (and it does last “forever” in the sense that you’ll have it through your entire marriage). He didn’t want me to feel like I was someone he could find a bargain on and wasn’t worth full-price. Now, with that in mind, I chose a fairly small diamond (1/2 karat) because we discussed what he could afford and he had enough for that. It’s simple and plain but elegant - simple thin yellow gold band with a 1/2 karat diamond solitaire. I LOVE it and when it came to picking out wedding bands, I thought I’d want a simple gold band to match. After all, that’s the only type of ring I’ve ever seen on Catholic women (or at least all the homeschooling ones ). My husband, once again, wanted it to be special and dress it up a little, so once I realized my idea wouldn’t work out (we were hoping to get both of our wedding bands engraved on the inside but with my tiny fingers, the required width of the band just looked awful!), I ended up getting a wrap. It has two tiny diamonds on each side of the solitaire on my engagement ring and then a small gold band as the actual wedding band.
But anyway, I really would advise you to talk to your girlfriend about this. Because it’s really about what you both want - not what is “right” so to speak. While diamonds are expensive (and overpriced definitely), used by everyone (which the diamond industry started), and the ethics of the diamond industry itself is pretty awful, it is something you will be living with for the remainder of your lives together, unless you choose to replace it later, so think about that. Go over your ideas together and that’d probably be the bes way. If you plan to surprise her, maybe hint questions, have a friend ask her, or you can always return the ring if she doesn’t like it :).
we got our matching plain gold bands on special from a local discount jeweler, $30 for the pair. DH surprised me with a matching gold band with diamond chip as engagement ring. both had to be cut off when I had preeclampsia and swelled up, and at the time we could not afford to have them repaired. they are still in my drawer someplace. I tell people we have 4 kids & 2 mortgages, don’t need a ring to know I’m married. DH could never wear his because of his job, jewelry forbidden because of the machinery.
I have a plain one-stone diamond engagement ring in a slightly different setting, but the wedding ring is emerald with tiny diamonds. When next to the solitaire it looks like a flower. Have to try to find a pic. Then when we got our marriage blessed, we got a diamond anniversary band to put with it. I love it! And the emeralds always get compliments, because it is different. So I vote yeah, go with some color! Does she like emeralds, sapphires, or rubies? Those are usually easier to find.
My wife and I have the Cana symbol ring from Leafletonline.com that has symbols around the band. We chose the sterling silver (yes, cheap), but they have a 14 kt gold version.
We originally purchased them as engagement rings (she wasn’t that interested in a diamond…kind of outdoorsy) and both of us wore them, but we liked them so much that we decided to have them as our wedding rings. So we ended up having a ss band with thorns around it for me (thorns=Christ’s suffering for us) and a ring that her mom had given her as a gift.
It was important to have our Faith in the Christ in all parts of our marriage even down to the rings.
Thanks! Walker Metalsmith does some amazing work When I first saw / wore the ring, I thought that it might be too clunky, but it’s really very comfortable to wear and looks very good, if I may say so grins