Weddings in a dying loved ones hospital room


#1

My maternal aunt has been in and out of the hospital the past two years with congestive heart failure and pulmonary fibrosis, and is being placed on hospice soon because she’s terminal now.My FH and I were discussing it,and we’d really like to have one of the hospital chaplains marry us in her room at her bedside.I know once she’s on hospice and they start her on morphine,she’s not going to last very long.We both want her to see us get married before she passes.


#2

I don’t see a question.

But if you are asking if this can be done, it requires permission from your bishop. Talk to the priest or deacon who is preparing you for marriage.


#3

Personally I think this is something you may regret in the future. Wedding day is supposed to be the happiest and most memorable day of your lives. I would think long and hard about whether you want to do this.


#4

Yeah. No matter how much love there is for a sick person we wish to take part, I don’t think it’s a good idea to mix pain and happiness like this. Honour the importance of this vow as a day of joy with celebrating it like joyful. Why not visiting her right after the ceremony so she can see you in wedding dress and freshly married? :slight_smile:


#5

I’m so sorry to hear this, you must love her so much to want to make such a change to typical wedding plans. I will pray for her.

You would have to ask your priest first, then as stated get permission from the bishop.

Please think also about you and your fiancees other loved ones who would miss your wedding completely. I’m sure there’s a limit how many people can fit in a hospice room. They might be hurt and afraid to say anything under the circumstances.

Be prepared for what your priest tells you. They might accommodate but it seems unusual to me. The focus needs to be on you and your husband that is essential. I love the idea of stopping by immediately after and taking photos with her in your gown. Please take care, I know you are torn.


#6

I’m going to go against the trend here —

You two know better than anybody here what is best for the two of you.

Get the dispensation and do what you think is best.


#7

If there is a chapel in the hospice, maybe it can be done there?

I know that when my son was hospitalized, they offered Mass in the chapel many days even though it wasn’t specifically Catholic.


#8

I imagine it is possible for this to be done. If you’re in a large hospital, there is probably a chapel. You will probably technically need a dispensation, but I imagine it’s the kind a parish priest can easily give. I don’t know if it’s the best choice until you don’t have many other family members and friends you wish to invite. It might make your aunt feel really awkward too. My grandma was in hospice when I was married and I know how hard it is when a loved one can’t be present at your wedding. Prior to the wedding, I brought my dress to her home and got in it with the veil so I could show it to her. Then afterward I brought her the video so she could see it. It was still hard that she couldn’t be there in person.


#9

Another option could be to visit her before or after the wedding, depending on the time, so she can see you in your dress. And maybe have some flowers put together for her by the florist.


#10

Live stream the wedding so she could watch it? It’s not the same as being there, but at least she could see the joy of your marital union. Kind of “out there” and modern, but just an idea I thought I’d toss around.


#11

I don’t have any background knowledge here or expected timeline, but one other concern I have is whether or not you would feel the need to rush a wedding because of an understandably emotional situation, when getting married generally takes preparation (meetings and discussions with the priest, plus pre cana/marriage prep classes). Assuming even if a dispensation is possible, the priest would want to get to know you both and make sure you are prepared for marriage as well. In my experience, it can be difficult convincing a priest to allow a quick marriage. I knew of one couple that was able to convince a priest to marry quicker than usual because of an immigration situation (long story) and the couple were devout Catholics but in general it can be difficult. At the end of the day it’s a sacramental journey and a life long decision and the bigger picture needs to be considered.


#12

A friend of mine set up a computer with Skype on it when she got married 8 years ago, so her sibling who was deployed overseas could see the wedding. It was sweet. There are better video-streaming technologies now than 8 years ago, so I’m sure live-streaming could definitely be an option!


#13

If our poster has such a close relationship, it shows a kind and generous spirit to want to share this event with her Aunt. Honestly the “this is your day to be the star” vibe is secular.

Speak to your priest, he will help with the dispensations. I love the idea of hospital chapel!!


#14

Is this what your aunt wants too? Have you discussed it with her?


#15

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