Weekend with Mom, Father-in-law and his wife


#1

Any advice for this upcoming weekend when my mom, father-in-law and his wife come for a visit this weekend? Here is the situation: My father-in-law and his wife live in Tennessee (about 7 hours away) and don’t get to see their grandson very ofter and are coming to our home in Kentucky this weekend for a visit. My mom lives in Ohio, which is about 2 hours away, thus gets to see her grandson more than any other grandparent. In fact, she has a job interview with a local parish here on Friday in hopes of being offered a position enabling her to move here. She asked if she could stay at our house Friday evening after the interview instead of driving back to Ohio. My wife and I agreed that that was a good idea.

Our concern is that somehow my father-in-law and his wife will get jilted out of the attention of our son because he will focus on my mom instead of them. The other day my wife told our son that “Grandma” (my mom) is coming this weekend, which of course excited him. Then she said, “Granddaddy” and “Gigi” (my wife’s dad and step mom) are coming too. My little boy responded by saying, “No, No.” He didn’t scream it emphatically or anything, just shook his head no slightly and quickly repeated without moving his mouth much “No, no.” in an interrogatory tone. What do you make of this?


#2

I think a simple and polite conversation with your mom would be fine. I am sure she realizes that her grandson is more familiar with her and a gently and politely worded request that she ensure that your in-laws taking time with (the collective) their grandson is not taking him away from her.

As for your son’s reaction, well, just keep an eye on him. But do not discount any negative feedback he may give you about your in-laws. How old is your son?

And I wish your mom good luck on the job interview! :thumbsup:


#3

Oooh tough… I think it really depends on their personalities…

Would your IL’s have their feelings hurt easily if the grandson shuns them for your mom? Or would they be understanding?

I would definitely mention this fear to your mom… help her understand your perspective… especially since the IL’s get to see the grandson so rarely. Also, mention the situation to the IL’s and get their reaction.

Overall, it can work out to be an awesome family reunion… as long as everyone involved is aware of each others’ feelings.

Good luck!


#4

Thank you both. My son is 2 1/2. Everyone gets a long very well. I did talk with my mom early this morning and she said she would be cognizant not to attract all of the attention. She would not get her feelings hurt by such a reaction by my son given his age, but my wife thinks that her dad *would *get *his *feelings hurt. Just differences in personalities I guess. I did *not *mention to her that my wife thinks her dad could get his feelings hurt.


#5

Maybe call your FIL and mention that grandson is at the age where he is anxious around people he doesn’t see all the time. That way you can prepare FIL for the meeting.


#6

Your son is 2 1/2, not 12 1/2. All the grandparents are allegedly grown-ups. While there is a possibility somebody is going to be hurt, it is not as if you set out for them to be. The kid is really a baby! He is so young, he can’t help how he feels, poor little fella!

I wouldn’t do anything, just play it out and see what happens. You can’t make babies like people. Give these grown people a chance to be grown people about the whole thing.


#7

Why not go on a mother/son date night? I’m sure that your mom would love to spend time with just you and you with her. THat leaves room for your wife, fil, smil, and ds to have “bonding” time.


#8

Wow! All good advice. Thanks!


#9

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