Weird question on misuse of the eyes

Hello, I am recovering from the evil porn habit so please excuse me if my question is strange or my language is too forward.

Most of the time, I can stay away from impurity (I haven’t done anything impure for at least 3 months now.) But then today something happened.

I went on a site that shows pictures of nude women USUALLY in NON-SEXUAL poses, but I’m a woman too. Seeing other women just standing there barely has any effect at all on me. I closed the site after 15 or 20 min because I was bored.

It probably sounds silly to be trying to satisfy sexual urges by doing something that won’t do that. But I see now that what I was trying to do was have the pleasure without the sin. Part of me was hoping I would feel the thrill, but I didn’t want to go to sites that had highly sexual content. If I was really willing to go all out to get those pleasures, I could have gone to porn sites or male nude sites or sites that depict women in sexual ways or even just fantasized in my head. Correct me if I’m wrong.

I know I sinned. I know I should not be doing anything to experience sexual pleasure outside of marriage. I know it is wrong to even hope that those women would be the objects for my pleasure. But how wrong was it? Was it a mortal sin? Is it a mortal sin to seek sexual pleasure outside of marriage no matter how you go about it? I feel that it is a mortal sin and I am ready to accept that it is. But at the same time, a mortal sin is complete and grave rejection of God or of His Law, and I am having a readlly hard time believing I did that. I did not view porn or male nude sites or masturbate or have fantasies. This one Catholic book by Fr. Robert Fox said that Christ warns against misuse of the eyes, but it doesn’t say that this is a mortal sin. And I cannot find anything in the Catechism that says that misuse of the eyes is a mortal sin.

I am sorry for the long post, I am very conflicted inside right now. Maybe I am just too happy that I stopped viewing porn and now I don’t want to accept that I did another mortal sin again purity.


If you made a “choice” to go to a website to view nude, women or men, or a porn site or fantasized, what-have-you you are committing a sin. Period. What makes the sin mortal in this case is the culpability. You “chose” to go to that site, not to view “one” picture or spend one second there, but 20 minutes, come on you are hoping to receive what you went “looking” for. If you went there by mistake that would be different. Don’t allow Satan to confuse you, you could be a sex addict.

I am not judging; I am a sex addict, I suffer from this very thing, or even the idea that you do. I cannot go to any site that depicts women and/or men in sexual acts or even simply nude photo sites. I CANNOT! Period. I cannot look at “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit Editions because of what that might do to me, or what I may go searching for afterwords. If you are married, this is indeed a sin, you have placed before you the photos of men or women for pleasure or gratification instead of your husband. If you or I are walking or driving down the road and a walker or runner has come into our view and we choose to take a second or prolonged look with desire in mind we are sinning.

Now, if you’re looking at these sites strictly for research (I can’t imagine what that could be) then maybe not but don’t bet your life on it.

I hate pornography, not for it’s filth or depictions, but for what it has allowed me to do to my life! Don’t let yourself even begin to travel this path, it is NO good!

GOD Bless you and your continued purity.

Passages that have helped me:

“Let your eye be chaste, your hand faithful, your tongue truthful, and your heart enlightened.”(Bahá’u’lláh, quoted by Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice, p. 24)

Say: He is not to be numbered with the people of Baha who followeth his mundane desires, or fixeth his heart on things of the earth. He is My true follower who, if he come to a valley of pure gold, will pass straight through it aloof as a cloud, and will neither turn back, nor pause. Such a man is, assuredly, of Me. From his garment the Concourse on high can inhale the fragrance of sanctity… And if he met the fairest and most comely of women, he would not feel his heart seduced by the least shadow of desire for her beauty. Such an one, indeed, is the creation of spotless chastity. Thus instructeth you the Pen of the Ancient of Days, as bidden by your Lord, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful.(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 118) [It figures that ‘what is bad for the goose is bad for the gander’ Or in legal terms *mutatis mutandis]

O people of the world! Follow not the promptings of the self, for it summoneth insistently to wickedness and lust; follow, rather, Him Who is the Possessor of all created things, Who biddeth you to show forth piety, and manifest the fear of God. He, verily, is independent of all His creatures. (Bahá’u’lláh, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 41)

**Man cannot free himself from the rage of carnal passions except by the help of the Holy Spirit. That is why He says baptism with the spirit, with water and with fire is necessary, and that it is essential -that is to say, the spirit of divine bounty, the water of knowledge and life, and the fire of the love of God. **(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 92)
**The afflictions which come to humanity sometimes tend to center the consciousness upon the limitations, and this is a veritable prison. Release comes by making of the will a Door through which the confirmations of the Spirit come. **(Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 120)

TY so much. You both are such a great help. My conscience has become so warped by porn. I will get to confession either today or tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice about sexual dreams? Right now, that is my only weak point. I combat sexual temptations by simply ignoring them, but when I dream about sex, I have no control over what I’m thinking. When I wake up, I am all worked up and I’ll do almost anything to get a thrill. I can swear that I don’t think about sex before sleeping and I’m always careful against bad thoughts while I’m awake, so I’m sure the dreams are not my fault, but isn’t there SOMETHING I can do to get rid of the dreams?

I think you have to be very practical about this sort of thing. There is a reason that people wishing to remain celibate hop in cold showers when the temptation arises–lust seems to wash away in cold water.

In the same way, you can get that same effect, but with a deeper, spiritual and more fulfilling “shower.” Can you set it up so you wake up to an mp3 of the Rosary being spoken every day, or Catholic radio? Or a really good Christian song, or something like that? Or, fall asleep wearing a Rosary around your neck. Or have a lit statute of Mary or the Crucifix in your room. Wear rings of purity on each hand. Sleep next to a (sturdy) statute of Mary or a crucifix. Take practical steps to ensure your very first thought of the day MUST pointed towards Christ.

As someone who was in your shoes, I think you will find the more months you are away from the filth, the less it will infect your dreams and your mind. So take heart, have faith, it will get easier. In the first few months after stopping, it was a daily struggle, almost like physically wrestling with an actual demon. But the demon rarely grapples with me anymore, for he has learned my strength through Christ.

You are fighting a good fight. Don’t waste time or energy analyzing and agonizing over your fall. Go to confession, get up, dust yourself off, and move on! The less you dwell on it the better.


The dream state is part of the divine creation. It is dominated by its own Maker .Desire something else greater than carnality, then dreams will reflect that instead. Our state of development is constantly being judged. Are we ripe or not? – and I don’t mean physically.
Sometimes we get premontions in our dreams or the answers to questions from our waking state.

"Behold how the thing which thou hast seen in thy dream is, after a considerable lapse of time, fully realized. Had the world in which thou didst find thyself in thy dream been identical with the world in which thou livest, it would have been necessary for the event occurring in that dream to have transpired in this world at the very moment of its occurrence. Were it so, you yourself would have borne witness unto it.
This being not the case, however, it must necessarily follow that the world in which thou livest is different and apart from that which thou hast experienced in thy dream. This latter world hath neither beginning nor end. It would be true if thou wert to contend that this same world is, as decreed by the All-Glorious and Almighty God, within thy proper self and is wrapped up within thee.
It would equally be true to maintain that thy spirit, having transcended the limitations of sleep and having stripped itself of all earthly attachment, hath, by the act of God, been made to traverse a realm which lieth hidden in the innermost reality of this world."
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 152)

**God taketh souls unto Himself at death; and during their sleep those who do not die: and he retaineth those on which he hath passed a decree of death, but sendeth the others back till a time that is fixed. Herein are signs for the reflecting. **~The Qur’án, Sura 39:42

I believe that pornography is really a side issue. If it never existed, most people would still sin by capturing images, feelings and experiences in their mind and re-living them later in private. The reason we do this, or any other sin is because we are sinners by nature. It is due to the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden. In your case, perhaps lonliness is part of this struggle as well.

The Bible makes no distinction in the severity of sin. All sin will sends us directly to Hell. There are no “little” sins. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23) This is why we are all in desparate need of a savior.

The good news is that God himself sent his son Jesus Christ to live a perfect, holy, pure, undefiled and sinless life. Then Jesus goes to the cross taking the sins of the entire world with him. Upon that cross God expends his wrath upon Jesus treating Him like he lived our sinful lives. God punished Jesus for my sin, turns right around and treats us as we lived His sinless, holy and perfect life!

“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)

When God looks at Christ he sees us believers. When he looks at you he sees Christ. That is the very heart of the Gospel, or good news. Knowing this frees us up to be obedient to God out of love and pure gratitude rather than guilt and fear.

God is just, but also merciful, and I don’t pretend to understand His smallest mysteries, let alone a major one like this.

***A drop out of the ocean of Thy mercy sufficeth to quench the flames of hell, and a spark of the fire of Thy love is enough to set ablaze a whole world. ***(Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u’llah, p. 245)


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