Weird request - if anyone willing


#1

Ok, so my last post was about my long confession list. I know there’s a lot on my list that I have repeated, but I am not sure how to condense everything to make my list shorter and still valid. Is there any way someone could help me out with this? I don’t mind sending my list out to someone who is willing to help.

Thank you!


#2

Also, if I said “what the h—”, “i sw—”, “da—” …how would I confess this without actually saying it in the confessional?


#3

You can say you used some indecent language… if you really think that the circumstances made it indecent enough to be sinful…

Mortal sins need to be confessed in kind and number as far as we are able. Everything else can be very general and is not even necessary unless you are making the yearly obligatory confession and can only recall venial sins.


#4
  1. Only Mortal sins need to be confessed.
  2. Venial sins do not need to be confessed (one though does need something to confess). ( frequent confession of such is good -at least some of them…be it Monthly or weekly etc - and one can focus in on particular sins to work more on).
  3. Venial sins - when one confesses them - can even be rather general terms and do not need to have any numbers etc.
  4. It can be good to limit the number of Venial sins one confesses. Other venial sins too can be included in the ending of the confession as well “and all the sins…”
  5. A confessor can assist you - and is trained to do so. One can make an appointment.

#5

usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/examinations-of-conscience.cfm

Click the first link. usccb.org/about/index.cfm


#6

Also, I’ve asked this before… but I have read something else on here that said we need to give a number. But, if we do not know how many times, can we say “many times?”,


#7

Number is only needed for mortal sins. Not venial (see my post above).

If one examines and does not know the number of a mortal sin - one may yes approximate - according to what one knows. Like if one knows it was around 5 times- that is what one says …or 3-4 times…or 1-2 times a month for the last year…or one may only know it was a few times…and yes there can be occasions where one knows only that it was many times…(one is not expected to have the memory of Mr. Spock!..nor required to be overly stressed about such…)

Remember - this is only regarding mortal sins. Not venial sins (see my post above).


#8

Yes, of course. But, even for mortal sins, I am not sure of the amount of times. And, in the past I have never said a number so I should probably let the priest know that?


#9

Yes as I noted.

As to the last part - so your saying you did not realize that you had to give numbers for mortal sins when confessing in the past? In that case one normally would then confess that now - giving the numbers and noting what happened to the Priest.

There can be exceptions to this (for example a person who struggles with scrupulosity may be directed by their confessor that they are not to do so due to their particular scrupulosity) but normally one would yes confess what (mortal sins) where honestly omitted- and of course approximate where that is needed according to what one knows (see above).

Again only mortal sins have to be confessed in number.


#10

In the past, I did not know. But, then once I did know I thought it was OK to say “many times”, so I had been doing that. Then, I read that we need to give an actual number. But, I do struggle with scrupulosity… I have gotten a lot better, but it comes back more when I am going to confession. I will have to confess that I never said a number in the past and I will also tell the priest I do not know the amount of times. I am not sure anyway which sins of mine are mortal, some of them might not be but I feel they are so that’s why I wanted to know what to do.


#11

Best thing then is to have a confessor who can direct you…


#12

I will re-post another older post of mine (general information regarding scrupulosity)

A person struggles with scruples - what ought they do?

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a* “regular confessor” who can direct them --and even give them some general principles* to follow -to apply (principles for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

Thus with their direction they can “dismiss scruples” (in the older language despise them) - “act against them”.

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.

Such ‘obedience’ to a regular confessor who knows of ones scruples (except in what is manifest sin - such as if he told them it was ok to murder someone or something certain like that) is key. Such is the age old practice.

Also counseling -(especially if one also has OCD) could be helpful depending on the case -but one would want to look for a counselor who can assist one in following the Churches Teachings - not go contrary to them (I have heard CA staff mention catholictherapists.com/)

Here is post from Jimmy Akin of CA that I saw in the Register and saved for those who struggle with such.

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/6-tools-for-the-scrupulous


#13

Yes- you should confess to the same priest and he will guild you - this is not the place to confess sins - your trying to prefect your confession I think more to satisfy yourself then God - I know that there are perfectionist here who want to dot every I and cross every T - but it true sorrow of your sins that count - you can follow a rule book to try to prefect it but it doesn’t mean anything in the end if you have no sorrow or understanding that you have offended God.

Your act of contrition is the most important part of your confession

Oh my God I am heartly sorry for having offended thy and I detest all my sins because of thy just punishment but most of all because I have offended thy my God who art all Good and deserving of all my love

Sorry I say the old version in confession - some don’t like this version because it mentions punishment


#14

An example of what a confessor might direct a person with scruples about confession:

He might tell them:

Do not confess any doubtful mortal sins -only those that are certain.

Do not confess any past mortal sins that come to mind unless 1. It is* certain* that it was mortal and 2. It is certain that it was not confessed already is it ought (number and kind…). Only in a case where both are certain are to you confess it…

Or he might in some cases need to tell them not to ever confess anything from the past (since their last confession only) due to their particular confessional scruples…

Or he might even in some cases have them restrict their confession even more generally…

Again these are examples of what confessor might tell a penitent who scruples in the area of confession - one should discuss with ones regular confessor. A confessor will know their penitent and can direct them.

Those with scruples - discuss with your confessor what to do in your case.

(those with scruples can as I noted be in a different boat then those without such…or even in a different boat than others with scruples…and of course those without that struggle would not be in their particular boat and would not follow many of the things that might be given to those with scruples)

See my post above regarding scruples in general and the importance to have a regular confessor.


#15

I agree with you, and I am very sorry for my sins because I have offended God. But, it’s probably my scrupulosity when it comes to making my confession perfect. I don’t want to think I did something wrong after my confession, or missed something. Like I have in previous confessions.


#16

An example of what a confessor might direct a person with scruples about confession:

He might tell them:

Do not confess any doubtful mortal sins -only those that are* certain*.

Do not confess any past mortal sins that come to mind unless 1. It is* certain* that it was mortal and 2. It is certain that it was not confessed already is it ought (number and kind…). Only in a case where both are certain are to you confess it…

Or he might in some cases need to tell them not to ever confess anything from the past (since their last confession only) due to their particular confessional scruples…

Or he might even in some cases have them restrict their confession even more generally…

Again these are examples of what confessor might tell a penitent who scruples in the area of confession - one should discuss with ones regular confessor. A confessor will know their penitent and can direct them.

Those with scruples - discuss with your confessor what to do in your case.

(those with scruples can as I noted be in a different boat then those without such…or even in a different boat than others with scruples…and of course those without that struggle would not be in their particular boat and would not follow many of the things that might be given to those with scruples)

See my post above regarding scruples in general and the importance to have a regular confessor. That is key.


#17

And again, how do I confess when I have said something like “Da----”, or “I sw—”, or “what the h—” ?


#18

Yes, true contrition is key.

Don’t apologize, hu324b, my Act of Contrition includes, “…because I dread the lost of Heaven, and the pains of He’ll…” :wink:


#19

Foul language and ask Father if he needs to know the specific words (“f” word, the "s"word). Like other posters said, the priest will guide you. Just explain your anxieties to him like you are to us. :slight_smile:


#20

Great. Thank you!!


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