Weirdest attempt at evangelization that you've ever seen

I work in retail, so of course I get the nuts that whip out the religious tracts, usually at the end of a transaction:

Me: Have a good day.
Customer: Thanks. HeyGodblessyouJesuslovesyou.
Me: No, thanks.

There was one guy that walked out of the mall at the same time as I was one time. I was drinking a can of Rockstar. He was like “Hey, what’s that drink?” I said “Rockstar.” He was like “Ah. That’s Jesus, y’know. The Rock.” I was like “Okay.”

One time, I was having trouble weighing something (bananas, I think) for a customer. He said something to me, and I, being silly, was like “I don’t know the ways of bananas.” He was like “It’s not about knowing their ways. It’s about knowledge. Ignorance is death according to God’s Scripture.” I was like “Okay.”

Then they are the Chick Tracts that I sometimes find in restrooms or, recently, on a case of beer.

But there’s this one old guy that comes to the store that I work at. Sometimes, he’s my customer; other times, he just walks by my register. He takes out a small, cheap, “silver” cross and says “Here, take this and stick it in your pocket.”

That’s it. That’s all that he does, every single time.

Anyone have any other moments where someone is “attempting” to share the Good News?

Weirdly enough, this morning at the Starbucks in my grocery store. The guy ahead of me in line decided that after paying for his drink, it was the perfect time to try and evangelize to the barista–never mind there were six people behind him in line.

The poor barista was trying to be polite to the customer and get him to move along so he could serve the rest of us. Not being any under restrictions, I had no problem tapping the evangelist on the shoulder and telling him that the rest of us wanted to place our orders, and he needed to move along and not take up other people’s time with his personal business. He started to argue, and promptly got several people telling him to get out of the way, we wanted our drinks too.

He then tried to push him pamphlets off on us (really? After having all of us yell at you?) and was making some sort of mutterings at us when we all told him we didn’t want them.

I thought that was a very odd time/place/situation to try and evangelize.

My dh and I were house hunting a few years ago. We were looking at a turn of the century four square on the market for a ridiculously low price. We learned why the price was so low when the lady of the house showed us around. They had torn out many charming elements and put in modern “renovations”, not finished the work, gotten tired of the effort and expense and so were selling the house. We were sickened by the way they’d ruined the house, and knowing we couldn’t and wouldn’t try to fix their disastrous mistakes we thanked the homeowner and headed for the door. Now came the kicker. As my dh and I were leaving she suddenly poked her head out the sliding door with which they had proudly replaced the front stained glass window and asked, “Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?” Really? After showing us how totally clueless they were in the way they ruined that house and couldn’t manage their lives, this woman thought we would be interested in being proselytized? We said something like, “Yes, we’re fine thank you” and left. Sheesh!

Another incident recently in the news, a woman was pulled over by a police officer for some minor offense. He then tried to foist his religious material on her while she’s sitting in her car at the mercy of his gun (not that he had the gun out, but still he had it) and his authority. Talk about inappropriate! She was frightened and outraged, as who can blame her. She’s suing, and rightly so. Some people in their misplaced zeal are completely clueless as to how they are presenting their “gospel”. :rolleyes:

A guy standing between Starbucks customers and their venti skinny chai lattes and mocha frappuccinos? Seems like he’s seeking martyrdom! :eek:

:rotfl:

have you ever gotten this one…walking in a store or on the sidewalk in front of a store…someone taps your shoulder and says “I think you dropped this.” and hands you a tract?

One day in college, I was approached by a guy and a girl on a campus sidewalk. He asked what I thought about Jesus. She didn’t say anything. He was really nervous and obviously uncomfortable being a sidewalk evangelist. I said something like, “He was a really nice guy. Very gentle,” and walked away. :shrug: I felt bad for the kid.

Death by milk steaming? :wink:

Another weird one from a few years back that I just remembered–my friends and I were at the Renaissance Festival, and one of them went to the privy. She came back, looking bewildered, and said, “I just had a couple try to evangelize to me.” Now, since there were actors playing a friar and a nun on cast, my first thought was it was them, playing their characters, and suggested this. My friend said no, it hadn’t been them, showed us a pamphlet they’d handed her, and pointed them out. They were dressed almost-but-not-quite-in a Mennonite/Amish sort of fashion (which in this area stands out, they’re here, but not in large numbers), and very definitely were not cast members.

Just so happened the owner of the festival walked by at that point, and I flagged him down real quick and explained the situation. He went to the couple and very politely told them that they couldn’t do that, and he would have to ask them to leave. (He refunded their tickets, which was nice of him, he didn’t have to do that.)

I thought that was an odd one too.

That kind of evangelism helped keep me away from Christianity for the first 47 years of my life!

The weirdest is probably the most stigmatizing that I ever saw:

The ones who stand on a soap box with a big sign stating you are going to go to hell. And all the person preaches is how we are sinful and going to hell. Not once do they ever mention God’s mercy and/or love.

When I was going to an Assemblies of God Bible college some of us students would do soapbox preaching. Many did use that approach, which I always thought pointless and off-putting. When it came my turn I’d speak about God’s love and how Jesus is what our hearts are yearning for. Some of the others weren’t pleased about that, but I didn’t care. I knew we should be attracting people with honey and not vinegar. It’s not really surprising that I eventually grew tired of the “us vs. them” attitude my fellow students lived by and, through God’s infinite grace, found my way to the Church. I hope things are different now in that sect.

I’m always happy to be evangelized. It’s the easiest way for me to evangelize someone.

Believe it or not, I actually don’t have too much of a problem with that. If I was in your position, I would’ve just been like, “yep, He loves u, too!” :slight_smile:

Oh, and your username made me lol, as I can tell it’s probably based off of Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. You’d think with a username like yours, you’d have Tuxedo Mask as your avatar, but u have Sailor Mars instead, lol.

Lol, are u saying that u evangelize the evangelizer? :smiley:

I agree with Suko. Usually I just say you too, or something to that effect. Always nice to be reminded, but it’s not exactly infrequent in Texas.

Growing up in New Orleans, I was never really targeted by evangelists as a child, since everyone I knew pretty much knew everyone else’s families several generations back, plus everyone was Catholic. Wasn’t until I moved to Texas that I found out how amused I am by evangelicals.

Honestly since I started college I’ve noticed this kind of thing happening a LOT more. In high school you’d have people ask if you want to go to church with them, but in my own group, the most religious-minded people were me and my other Catholic friend.

One of my friends… well two actually… from my studio are pretty intently evangelical sometimes, Baptist if I’m not mistaken. I feel like they tried that on me once. I tend to shut down those kinds of things pretty quickly. Not even trying to, I just mention “Oh, I’m actually a Catholic,” and generally they don’t have anything else to say. A few people actually followed it up with things like “Oh well I’m not Catholic but my parents are,” or “I’m not Catholic but my ancestors were Irish, and I think my great grandma was.”

Some people that lived in the same apartment as me stopped me on the way to class one time to ask me if I wanted to be a youth leader for some kind of freshman faith building camp or something. They were non-denominational I think, so I was like, well I’m Catholic, but if you want me to help I’ll think about it. I ended up not getting involved because I had a bit of a workload, plus I didn’t want to cause trouble by trying to convert my group.

One of my Catholic friends here, who was actually going to seminary prior to meeting his girlfriend, got a text from one of the studio’s evangelicals during Pope Francis’s… inauguration? Regarding something to do with calling no man father… He wasn’t too happy about that one, needless to say, especially considering his interest in becoming a priest. That was the only one that actually irritated me. Most of the time, I’ll politely inform people of the Catholic perspective on issues if it ever comes up. Sometimes I’m afraid a few of them consider me some kind of heathen or something, but there are actually a lot of Catholics at my university compared to most. To be totally honest, I kind of regret not having better stories than those.

Ohhh wait I have one, nothing to do with Christianity. Myself, my Catholic friend, my best friend, and his sister were all out getting Marble Slab (the ice cream place), and we started talking about L. Ron Hubbard and how the entire basis of Scientology is a mediocre science fiction novel. Kind of funny that they base their religion on it. So the topic changed and we were talking about, I dunno Reese’s peanut butter cups in ice cream or something, and about 5 minutes had gone by since we had been talking about Scientology. This older woman who had been a few tables over came up to us and asked if we had been talking bad about Scientology earlier. Not knowing how to really react, myself and sister started saying no no, we were just talking about how it’s kind of interesting. So then the woman said, “Oh good! Well, I just wanted to let you all know that I’ve been a Scientologist for 30 years (I think, it was a long time), and it’s really been a wonderful part of my life.” So we awwed and oohed and mmhmmed and she left. To this day, I am amazed that we met what has to be the only Scientologist in North Texas at Marble Slab while talking about Scientology. The odds are kind of unrepeatable. :smiley:

To clarify, I find it amusing when people try to evangelize me because of their reactions when I tell them I’m Catholic. It’s a funny mixture of shock and confusion, because it always seems like they don’t know how to respond. Like if they continue, I’ll get upset because they’re pretty sure Catholics are still Christian, but then if they don’t, since I’m Catholic, they think I’ll go to Hell or something. If they ask anything, I’m always happy to explain though. I’ve actually talked to a few of my friends about Catholicism, since one actually started going out with a Catholic guy and was going to go to Mass with him, but was worried about messing up since she’d never been before.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

:popcorn: This thread is good for a laugh. Thanks for sharing. :thumbsup:

“Lol, are u saying that u evangelize the evangelizer?” I mean exactly that, they self-select for me to tell them why I’m Catholic.

I’ve had a few leave my doorstep in a dazed condition when they tried to proselytize me through door-to-door efforts. Even a couple of Earth firsters have gone away looking like deer in the headlights because no one had ever bothered to challenge their beliefs who had rational arguments to give. These often are opportunities to dialog and witness for the faith, but not always. Sometimes these people are simply being rude or inopportune with no real regard for those they accost. I will not waste my time on them. But for anyone who is willing to listen, I’ll gladly share my faith. :yup:

Well this wasn’t really a weird attempt but it was a very unusual one. It was successful in keeping our attention which is unusual for evangelisation attempts.

The only type of evangelisation I’d been used to in my life was two Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking on the door and my dad politely telling them that we’re not interested.

But these two, they were smart. My brother and I were just walking back to where we were staying in Gran Canaria when this elderly couple said hello to us. They asked if if we went to mass. We said that we didn’t in Gran Canaria since we didn’t know one but that we did back at home. At this point we didn’t know they were evangelisers, we just thought they were a nice elderly couple wondering where they could find a church here. But then they asked us what denomination we were but I just thought they were just inquisitive like a lot of old people I know and so I answered them still not even knowing they were evangelisers. Then the man said that he used to be(or is, can’t remember)a Catholic and he talked about knowing Jesus and all that. Then they handed us a pamphlets and we said our goodbyes.

They were the best evangelists ever at keeping our attention and even if we didn’t want to listen we couldn’t have just walked away from friendly old people.

At LSU, a group called Consuming Fire Fellowship would often come down from their home in Woodville, Mississippi, to tell us that we’re all going to hell for being fornicators, “evilutionists”, etc. Freshmen found the spectacle a fun opportunity to flex their debate muscles and kick back for some laughs. Upperclassmen just ignored the whole routine, knowing no good comes out of engagement.

One time, after Hurricane Katrina displaced a bunch of New Orleans students to our campus, they preached that God was trying to destroy New Orleans by flood for being the new Sodom and Gomorrah. They were nearly martyred by a furious crowd of hurricane victims. The campus police stepped in to keep the peace and told them not to return with their signs on masts because they could become weapons.

One day, I figured I’d go trolling by simply sitting near the group and playing Black Sabbath on my laptop. I expected one of the men or maybe one of their wives to tell me something but to my pleasant surprise a few of the boys saw it as an opportunity to try their skills. Normally, the men hand out pamphlets, engage in debate, and preach out load walking on a retaining wall; the ladies hand out fliers and debate but don’t preach; and the children only handout fliers never engaging anyone (lest they be corrupted by evilutionism). I smiled at their approach. “What are you listening to?” “Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs.’” “You know that’s the Devil’s music, right?” “How so?” “If it’s not about God, then it’s the Devil’s music.” About that time another couple of boys joined us and repeated the exact same sequence with me. “What are you listening to?” “Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs.’” “You know that’s the devil’s music, right?” “How so?” “If it’s not about God, then it’s the devil’s music.” Thoroughly amused by their identical form, I smiled again and replied, “Not all music is about either God or Satan. This song is about people who wage war for profit.” Before they could respond further, one of their mothers noticed that they’d broken formation and began dragging them away by the back of their collars. I cracked up laughing.

On another occasion, a mom had one of those chest signs - you know, the ones they hang over the shoulders with misquoted bible verses taken out of context on front and back - anyway, she draped it over a stroller. The 3-4-year-old girl, who was sitting in the stroller before she had to make way for the sign, grabbed the sign, put it on, and began flapping it around and dancing. My laughing drew the attention of the mom, who took back the sign and put it back, telling the girl to leave it be.

I stopped attending their shows when I learned that they often photograph us watching them for their website and post up captions like, “A large group of students listen and respond to the gospels,” as though they were actually accomplishing what they hoped to instead of only driving a wedge between Christians and society by misrepresenting the faith to be hateful, thus making our job harder. Still, I pray for them, especially the children.

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