Might as well be me. I’m getting used to the role, actually.
I wonder sometimes why God chooses just one member of a family to try and hold the moral line. I know the value of spiritual suffering comes into it, and also of trying to spread the light and dispel the darkness of misinformation. I also know that I am supposed to be compassionate when I have to dissent from accepting someone’s behavior. I do try. Unfortunately, I am the only one, and I get the phone calls later about how awful I am for expecting everyone to live up to my standard. Like I made it up. Yeah, Jen invented right and wrong…:rolleyes:
In a family full of professing Christians, though DH and I are the only practicing Catholics, I seem to be the only one who is telling my brother (and I told his ex-wife the same before she stopped talking to anyone on our side of the family) that he should NOT be dating. His divorce isn’t even final until tomorrow, they just got custody and visitation worked out. As he has no money to fight anything (using paralegal service), and her parents are paying for her to have a high-priced lawyer, his time with his children is now very limited. So I just don’t think he needs to be subdividing what time and attention he does have to give with having a “love life.” Especially when his wife dragged some guy no one knows anything about home from a club and is now forcing this person’s presence on the children. Can’t just ONE of them sacrifice what they seem to see as their “right to be happy?” (Oh, what postmodern psychobabble nonsense, and how much trauma to children people justify with it!)
Not only has he found himself a girlfriend, she is the woman he was with before he married his wife. She lives in the next state, so in order to see her, he has to burn a lot of gasoline. He works a poorly-paying state job, can’t make his mortgage, and has child support to pay, but he can afford to spend this money on all this gas? And now, the straw that broke the camel’s back yesterday. He tells me that he is going to visit the girlfriend for 8 days. I asked him if this was during a time when he wasn’t going to have access to the kids. Like, it wasn’t his weekend. He says, “I am only going to miss one weekend with them.” :eek: Lord, if I could body-slam people through the phone…(okay, I wasn’t feeling very compassionate at that moment!)
I told him that that was exactly why I was against him dating, because now he is already, so soon, putting that relationship above the one with his children! He actually asked, “How am I doing that?” I said because he is willing to give up some of the limited time he has with his children in order to go visit her. He hung up on me, and I am not sure he will ever speak to me again.
Please pray for my nieces and nephews…they seem to have no one in their lives who puts their needs first. I have not seen them for a month, and I don’t know when I will see them again. We live 80 miles away. Maybe I should offer to take them for a weekend now and then so “Mom” can go have fun, which seems to be all she cares about now… and “Dad” can go off with his girlfriend. :mad: Ever since their family broke up, I have been offering prayers for them… I hope God finds some way to make my prayers useful for them someday. They don’t seem to be helping a lot right now… but God won’t take away our gift of free will, and people sometimes use that so badly.
I also wish I could get my brother to remember how much we disliked our own father dating when we were children. He knows exactly how bad this can get, yet he’s still doing it…:shrug: