Were any of you scared to get pregnant?


#1

Hi, I am a newbie here but this is a question that I have had for a while. I recently got married in October, 2008 and my husband and I want to start a family but my husband has a medical problem that might prevent us for the time being from conceiving :(. That is a long story but anyway, I want to have children but I am very scared of getting pregnant. I'm 32 and I am a overweight. Sure, I know I can lose some weight but I will probably never lost a lot :( due to my genes, etc. I have heard all sorts of horror stories about bigger women who get pregnant and all the health problems. It scares me.

How do you deal with these sorts of feelings? Is there anyone here who has had a similar situation?


#2

I am recently married, and though my husband and I have not started our family yet (this fall is my last semester of grad school), I can relate with the thought that starting a family as a bit scary, though exciting.

I have had some body image issues in the past, and did have a slight fear of reverting to some bad behaviors, but I can tell you that what helped me is focusing on being healthy rather than some superficial notion of physical beauty. I would recommend finding a crossfit gym close to you (check out www.crossfit.com) because they focus on building in functional fitness regardless of the person’s initial physical abilities. It is essentially training as an athlete, rather than to loose a few inches around the waist.

I’m not sure if this is exactly the type of advice you are looking for, but it has really helped me in accepting my body type while working to be healthy and strong. I have seen people in their 60’s entering the gym, and after a number of months, being able to complete full squats and move more weight than they ever expected. While they do have some very elite athletes, I have seen many overweight people complete workouts they never expected to be able to do. The workouts are scaled so that the person can complete it with the ability they have without injury (beside sore muscles). If possible, I would recommend starting at the gym before you’re pregnant, and the trainers can then adapt work outs so that when you are pregnant, you can continue to develop your fitness.

All in all, I think focusing on being healthy so you can enjoy your kids as they have their own kids is a good aim to shoot for. I wish the best for you and your husband.


#3

[quote="rapunzel77, post:1, topic:201521"]
Hi, I am a newbie here but this is a question that I have had for a while. I recently got married in October, 2008 and my husband and I want to start a family but my husband has a medical problem that might prevent us for the time being from conceiving :(. That is a long story but anyway, I want to have children but I am very scared of getting pregnant. I'm 32 and I am a overweight. Sure, I know I can lose some weight but I will probably never lost a lot :( due to my genes, etc. I have heard all sorts of horror stories about bigger women who get pregnant and all the health problems. It scares me.

How do you deal with these sorts of feelings? Is there anyone here who has had a similar situation?

[/quote]

Well, I am overweight (morbidly obese according to BMI) and am now 8 months pregnant. I think some people have said that overweight people have a tendency to have difficulties conceiving at all, but that wasn't the case for us. We were married in September and pregnant in October. :D I have had a lot of problems during this pregnancy, but I'm not even sure I'd connect ALL of them to having been overweight.

I have swelling problems, I kind of did before, but now they're really bad...but good blood pressure and I'm not dropping any protein so I'm not pre-eclampsic. Just uncomfortable. ;) I get that from my mom unfortunately, she is on 2 different medications to decrease swelling and she is past menopause, so I know I'm just "blessed" with that from her.

I was diagnosed a month or so ago with gestational diabetes. THAT sucks the most. They think that I was probably pre-diabetic before because my fasting blood sugar was soooo high. So, I'm not giving medical advice, but health advice. This isn't necessarily a diet, and you shouldn't take out carbs/sugars completely, but I'd recommend getting an idea on sugars BEFORE you get pregnant. If you know someone who has a blood glucometer, I'd ask them if they'd let you take 2 blood sugars...one while fasting and one 2 hours after eating. "They" say that fasting should be 60-90 and after eating 60-120, I think that's normal for non-pregnant. You could also always ask your regular doc to do this for you, but really that would be a lot of money for lab work, and if you know a diabetic that has their own glucometer, it would be so much easier. This is the one thing I'd really stress....it's HARD to change eating habits, but let me tell you it's MUCH harder in some ways to do that while you're pregnant. You have no idea how much I've been craving a corn dog since the day I was diagnosed! :( And it's not a worthwhile use of my daily allotted carbs, so I won't bother.

Anyway, I'd say, don't be afraid...but definitely be proactive. I REALLY wish someone had mentioned to me the possibilities of gestational diabetes in overweight (possibly), pre-diabetic women. In fact, I REALLY wish I'd known I was pre-diabetic before.

My recommendations on checking your blood sugar seem frighteningly close to being medical advice, please mods, it's not my intention! :o They're just so easy to come by now, there's really no reason to not find out and make yourself a bit more healthy when it's easier.


#4

I had my two children at ages 38 and 40. I weighed 265# and 275# at the beginning of each pregnancy, respectively. (I am below average in height.) I had no health problems.

I did, however, have a lot of trouble getting pregnant in the first place and it took about 4 yrs after our marriage to conceive.

So, if I were you, I'd worry more about the likelihood of infertility at your age and weight than health problems during pregnancy if you are healthy now.

Every year further into the 30's your fertility drops. Being overweight makes it worse. In fact, I lost a lot of weight (don't want to admit to how much since I've already told you the end point!) before the 1st pregnancy which I am sure helped us to conceive.

Having bad genes makes it harder to lose weight, but not impossible. I was desperate to have a baby which motivated me back then.

In the ensuing yrs (my youngest is now 8) I unfortunately gained back over 1/2 of what I had lost. (I'll skip the part where I lost and gained back the same 20# over and over.)

This year, God led me to the Lightweigh program at our parish. It is a faith-based weight loss and Bible study program based on Catholic Dogma and the spirituality of St. Therese of Liseiux and the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I cannot recommend this program more highly! It has changed my life for the better in so many ways. I couldn't lose weight myself but with God all things are possible. My life is no longer centered on food but on Christ. I have lost 40# so far on this program and have no doubt that Jesus will help me to lose more.

Hope this helps! God bless you!


#5

Thank you for the responses. I have been checked out recently with bloodwork on my blood sugar, etc. Everything checked out. They couldn't find any ovarian cysts, etc either. My husband and I think that the problem is on his end due to his unusual medical condition that makes getting pregnant very difficult if not impossible :(.

I am scared of the complications of pregnancy. I don't think I handle pain all that well :(. Please pray for us that my husband is able to have his surgery to correct his problem.


#6

I'll pray for those intentions,
but as one who had three children...
the fear and anticipation you are experiencing isn't real.
It isn't happening right now. You are suffering from what isn't now.
Please live in your present moment which is without pain, only imagined pain.

And when the time does come for your baby to be born,
the medical staff will help you all they can,
and will happily minimize your pain,
and any pain will pass soon enough,
and then won't matter any more,
because you will have your beautiful baby
and for a little while you will feel
almost like the only person in the world who has lived through such a miracle
as giving birth to a baby!
You won't be able to take your eyes off this beautiful little person!


#7

I am scared of the complications of pregnancy. I don’t think I handle pain all that well >

Do talk to your doctor about your concerns. It seems you do have time to get in better shape, so just start doing it. Maybe you won’t lose as much weight as you’d like, but if you are consistent you will be healthier for sure. I was scared of pain, too. For almost everyone now childbirth is unknown territory. We’ve never seen it, so, for people like me at least, we can imagine crazy scenarios! I recommend finding a midwife or doula. Someone who has helped many women to birth their children. Because even if you plan on having you husband as a coach, he’s a newbie, too.
Oh, and having a child will show you that you can handle lots more than you realized. :wink:


#8

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