So today i went to confession at a church that i havent been to in years. during the confession the priest was...i dont know, just differnt what im used to. one of the sins i confessed was feeling depressed about sining and feeling like i don deserve to live. he then became really concernd and for my pence was to do a good deed to someone ive been unkind to lately. and then the preist said that i seem to be very hard on my self, and that i seem to think that God doesnt love me all that much. he said he want me to speak to a counsler. so i asked him thechurch provieds a consler, he then says yes, go talk to one of the deacons at the parish......i have a qustion, the priest told me to see a specific person at that parish for counseling. do i HAVE to see that specific personthat the priest asked me to, or can i speak to a differnt decon or priest from my own parish? do i have to go see that specific one that the preist asked of me?
I'm not sure, but I don't think you're required to see the specific counselor he suggested because, if I understand what you said correctly, seeing the counselor was not part of your penance.
Still, you might consider trusting his judgment. Based on what you said to him, perhaps he concluded that the person he mentioned was the right sort of counselor for your specific issues (NB: you don't really need to mention the specifics of the confessional; you could ask your question just as well by speaking generically). If you are having serious problems, you should see somebody about it.
I'm no expert, but your confession doesn't sound all that weird to me. From what you described, the priest gave you some good advice. He may not be able to give you the help that you need as far as the feelings of not deserving to live, etc. The person he suggested that you see probably is trained in these things, and in that regard, that would be the right choice as to who to talk to. While you don't necessarily have to go to that particular deacon, it would be wise to make sure that you get help from an appropriately trained counselor...preferably a Catholic one, if you can find such a person. I did, and it made a world of difference, to speak with someone who shares your faith.
In any case…certainly have HOPE !
you are very loved by Christ…who is the Good Shepherd
I don't think you are bound to talk to the deacon that the priest suggested, but you should keep in mind that some people - deacons and priests - are better counselors than others, and some have more training than others in this area.
We had a priest who's undergraduate degree was in psychology, and he did an awesome job counseling.
It may be that the priest suggested this particular person because he knows that counseling is one of this deacon's strengths.