I am having so many difficulites now. My thoughts (and posts) are all over the place, as is my heart and head.
I am suppose to have help getting out of where I live, which MUST be done this Thursday, or my ex friend will be angry beyond belief. A local deacon said he would help, thankfully, but he’s not keeping me informed of when, how. I do not know what I can take without this info.
When I came back from a meeting with the RCIA director, I was just stunned. She’s not anxious to get me in.
I don’t know what to make of it at all.
I am very upset, a little angry and something else with no description. Overwhelmed to the point, that when I walked back, I didn’t even wonder why this was all happening. I just played like a kid in the snow. But not happily. I thought of why I am here, why am I bothering? Even though I am not anxious to deal with the ‘roomie’s’ wrath if no one comes to get me out…
There is a deadline with disability that scares the blank out of me. I will panic just for doing the papers, because it’s what I do now with anything of importance.
I have a deadline with moving out. I can’t seem to do what’s needed there, either. He will be livid if this isn’t done in time. I have called him so many times, gratefully, as this is a huge favor, so I feel tremendously awkward for implying “please hurry up or I am dead meat.” He may have lost a paper of mine, too.
What does it really mean to give all these bad situations, feelings and futilities to Him? I pray to Him daily to lift just some of these burdens; I am not above any of this, but I am not able to handle it. I want so badly to carry this for Him, but I can’t help not being able to. I am just short of asking Him to just take me and get me out of here that way. (usually asked with physical pain). Not a good question. I have prayed for a human angel to help me with sorting because it just makes me cry like a two year old, nothing makes sense to me practically.
What do I need to say to Him? What should be done differently? I feel like I won’t make it through this and this writing cannot convey that sufficiently. Three days alone with no one to help at my side. I just keep saying, I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
I was on my knees at the foot of His cross and I am so …there are no words…
I just can’t deal with this, I can’t deal with this.
I am having so many difficulites now. My thoughts (and posts) are all over the place, as is my heart and head.
Also, quit looking at your situation as a mountain. A mountain is massive and ungainly. You could move it but it would be a daunting task.
Look at your problem as a pile of rocks. This pile of rocks may be just as tall as your mountain but its different because you can handle each rock one by one.
Start looking for pieces of your puzzle that you can solve tomorrow. If that means its just the first page of your paperwork then that’s all you’ll do. Take things in chunks but don’t give up.
You may need to take your licks when it comes to your roommate. Do your best to explain that your housing has not come through yet and show a plan of action and that you are taking steps to rectify the problem.
You have a tough road to walk right now and you are going to have to get through it with faith and works. (Not so much spiritual works but sit down and work works)
I’ll be praying that your financial and housing problems are resolved.
First, I will pray for you wholeheartedly.
Second, there are non-profit organizations who can help in filling out disability paperwork (at least in my state). You don’t list your location, but if you would like to PM me with which state you live in (assuming you’re in the US), I will be happy to do the research to find organizations in your state who can help … at least that will be one less burden that you have to bear alone
Edit: Oops, I see that you do have your location listed … I’ll get busy on it now.
praying for you!
Here’s a huggggg and a prayer for you, Cheezey. I wish I had more to give you.
There must be someone who can take a bit of this from you. Someone who can help with papers, etc. Is there a Catholic Social Services near you - something from the diocese or linked with the nearby parishes?
I’m thinking of someone who can walk you through what you need, who has resources that they know can help. Speak again with the deacon who is helping you and see if he has the name of a Catholic Social Services.
Is there a convent nearby… or a small group of Sisters working with the parish? They often have ways to help.
"When I came back from a meeting with the RCIA director, I was just stunned. She’s not anxious to get me in. "
Do you mean the RCIA director isn’t concerned about you joining the next RCIA class very soon? When does the next class begin? Often the start again around August. The current class will be coming into the Church at the Easter Vigil Mass. She may be so focused on the next few weeks that its hard for to refocus. I’m sorry she didn’t give you the help you deserved.
You have so much happening right now. One of the hard parts is not knowing what is next and how its going to take place.
The only think I can tell you is to keep placing your trust in God. He loves you very much. He does care about all your pains and needs.
Hi again, cheezey. So sorry to hear of your sufferings, but it’s so good that you have crosses-you wouldn’t be like Jesus if you didn’t. In reading your post, I see two things missing that would really help: determination and rejoicing.
For determination, I quote a negro hymn which always inspires me. Make this your constant prayer-write it on post it notes and post in your bathroom, kitchen and bedroom.
‘Lord don’t move your mountain, just give me strength to climb it.
You don’t have to move that stumbling block, just lead me, Lord, around it.’
For rejoicing amidst suffering I look to many Scriptures, especially this one:
'But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show the trandscendent power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body yhe death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ’
2 Cor. 4:7-11
Be stouthearted and of good cheer. The Lord will never abandon or forsake you:gopray2::hug1:
Thank you so much . I just tried to pack another box and I can’t do it. I know the RCIA director may be focused elsewhere, but she seemed so pointed with everything. She shot down everything I said. I can usually stand but not anymore. I came away from this feeling as if I shouldn’t be here. LIke she was saying, “we’ll get along just fine, so you can wait.” No I cannot. No inquiry of faith should be like this.
Is there a neighbor who can help you pack boxes? Sometimes there is someone who says “if you need something, let me know”. Now might be a good time to ask, maybe a lady who is home during the day.
I’m still confused about the RCIA director not helping you. Maybe there is someone who volunteers with the RCIA who will take more time with you now. Someone who will be ready to answer your questions on church teaching and help you become part of the parish even before you fully join the Church.
Try Stations of the Cross on Friday evening. It will usually be attended by people very active in their faith and active in the parish. There may be a soup or fish dinner afterwards. Sometimes there is a cost to the dinner. I’m sure they will be happy to allow you to join the meal without the “donation”.
Getting to know the parishioners may be just as valuable to you right now as getting the RCIA director to give you the time you deserve. I bet she is just so focused on the final weeks before the new members enter the Church at Easter Vigil, that she has lost the ability to fully listen to you.
Check the parish bulletin for Bible Study or other activity that may interest you. You will meet people who have a lot to share with you.
Thank you Rosemary, I will do what I can with your suggestions.
Don’t give up! This is satan trying to pull you from your chosen path. Have you spoken to Father about the RCIA issue? He may be able to offer some insight into the reception (or lack thereof) you received. If not, is there another parish you could attend? You will be in my prayers…
Ok, here is what I’ve found thus far:
You can call “2-1-1” for referrals to services. You might ask about advocacy for filling out disability paperwork, help with moving, and whatever else you may need. Here’s the online link, too: mass211.org/
Massachusetts Office on Disability - Client Services Program: The Client Services Program provides information and advocacy for people with disabilities.
The Program accepts calls from new consumers on the following schedule:
Monday from 9am-4pm Tuesday from 9am-3pm Wednesday from 9am-4pm Thursday from 9am-4pm Friday from 9am-3pm
To request information or an advocate, email or call us at (617) 727-7440 or (800) 322-2020 (V/TTY)
- MA Department of Transitional Assistance: The mission of the Department of Transitional Assistance is to assist low-income individuals and families to meet their basic needs, increase their incomes, and improve their quality of life. The Department of Transitional Assistance serves one out of every eight people in the Commonwealth — including working families, children, elders, and people with disabilities. Our services include food and nutritional assistance, cash assistance, and employment supports.
I hope some of these will be helpful to you, and I’ll keep you in my prayers.
THANK YOU!! I even think I know where to go. I just gotta get the deacon to pinoint when he gets me out. I am just trying to hold my mind together. That is the only thing I can work. I can’t do any more. I have 60 hours…
You’re very welcome!
I forgot to add the link for the Client Services Program, but here it is:
Please post again and let us know how you’re doing!
Oh, almost forgot … since time is so short, I wanted to point out that the “2-1-1” phone number is available 24/7, so you could even call them right now
Hi, I don’t know the details of your situation, I understand you have a disability, you’re moving and you’re in RCIA, and none of these things are working out the way you’d like them to.
Mary, comfort our wonderful friend here. I ask for your assistance and your prayer to your dearly beloved son for a favourable outcome to all the sources of cheezey’s disarray.
Ave Maria, gratia plena,
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei et mater nostra,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus,
nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae.
God’s blessing, protection and comfort, my dear friend.
Morwenna, thanks for all the good you’re doing. You’re uplifting and inspirational. God bless.
Thank you. I think I am done fighting this. The priest was the second person to push me off to another person, who didn’t get back to me. It took a hospital priest to ge the ball rolling. and then someone dropped it. It is a shame, too.
I would really appreciate your prayers. I don’t like feeling this way.
Thank you with blessings.
Trust me, the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Do not let the careless actions/words of a few stop you from coming home. God would not call you to not help you find the open door!
thank you. He hasn’t abandoned me. But something is up.
I understand I really do; I have been trampling for this since November. I am tired.
There is the Cross, I get that, but this is just too silly for words. I am tired.