What are my options if I did not do my communion or confirmation?


Hello everyone I would like to thank anyone who can help or give advice on this issue I have. I was born into a catholic family and was baptized. However, unlike my brothers I was never taken to church for classes, I did not have my communion or confirmation. I remember going to church when I was little but my family fell off and only attended for certain holidays or mass for family. I spent years identifying as agnostic, believing that there yes is a higher power as in god but not sure what religion to identify as. (My god parents are Christian and I attended church with them time to time). A year ago I went threw an experience that was life changing and since then I embrace god more and make an effort to go tic hrcuh with my mother in law. I will be gettin married in around a year and half’s time. Because of my change in faith it is important to me to be married by church however I know not many churches will allow us to marry if I have not done my communions and or confirmations. What can I do? My mother in laws church is Spanish speaking so I have no idea so far what church I can even go to or what I can ask for?


I think RCIA takes about a year so you could do that I am not a expert though so it may take longer


Go to the nearest Catholic Church and attend mass. Just see how you like it. Call their parish office, (the phone number will probably be found in the bulletin) and ask about RCIA. You might also ask for an appointment to talk to a priest if you need other questions answered.


Congratulations on your planned marriage.

You were baptized Catholic, you are Catholic. If it is the Catholic Church you want to continue with, make an appointment with the priest at your nearest Catholic Church. Tell him all you have said here, asking his advice on how to go forward with being a fully practicing Catholic.

A parish usually requires 6 months preparation for marriage, you should be well prepared within your planned year and a half.

Welcome home. God bless you.


My advice is for you and your future spouse to speak with a priest, asap. Set up an appointment to speak with the priest. Do not let the secretary or deacon sign you up for anything until you have spoken to the priest. I say this because I was given bad information. I was baptized and received first holy communion when my parents stopped taking us to church. I did not know about confirmation and married a non-Catholic in his church. When my husband wanted to be Catholic no one could help us. We got bad information. As a result he converted to Eastern Catholic as they gave us correct information dealing with my confirmation and having our marriage convalidated or made right. How’s that for an eye opener, we had been married for over 30 years and everyone told us we were not married.

Get your first holy communion and confirmation out of the way first, then do the marriage prep. I wish you both the best! Felicidades!


Since you seem to have very little knowledge of your faith your best bet would be to sign up for RCIA. Tell the priest about your situation and that you want to marry a Catholic woman. Since you were baptized Catholic, you must follow Catholic form in getting married.

If you have 18 months or so until your planned marriage you have plenty of time to get this all sorted out.


To piggy-back off what Crocus said, you might be able to go through RCIA, which typically has a set start time (September, I believe in the US), and receive your marriage counseling at the same time. I remember a couple in my RCIA class who did that. That’s something to ask your priest, though.

May God bless you and your soon to be!

Edited for a pesky missing comma :blush:


Wherever you live you will live within the boundaries of a Catholic parish. Find out which it is. You can find this from your diocese’s website. If you don’t know what diocese you live put the following in Google: “catholic bishops’ conference [name of your country]” and it will find their website. Most have a search function on their website to find the diocese in which you live and will almost certainly have a website address for them.

Get the contact details for your parish priest and make an appointment to see him. Explain to him that you are a baptised Catholic but you have not completed your sacraments of initiation and have not been catechised in the Catholic Faith. He will then arrange to remedy this, if it is what you want, however it is done in your parish/diocese/country.

The Church prefers Catholics who are getting married to be confirmed. However, it is not mandatory.

Also, if you say you are getting married in the Church you must be being prepared for marriage by a priest. Speak to him and get his advice.

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