Another thing that comes to mind (because I'm a bit emotional right now w/ some things going on in my life)...
Be in tune with your spouse's emotions. My husband knows that I am a very, very emotional woman. I cry at commercials, movies, news stories (heck, I shed a tear watching the shuttle launch today!), etc. He doesn't tell me to "get over it", or through out advice on what I "should" do. He lets me cry on his shoulders; he listens to the "why" behind my tears,etc.
Big example - in June of 2009, one of my best friends moved away (out of state), another passed away. Now, in a week, my other super close friend is moving away (out of state). I feel, to a degree, that I have basically lost all my close girlfriends. My dh could easily say "suck it up", "make new friends", and so on. Instead, he LISTENS. He understands that you just don't start grabbing new confidants. And when, because I want to grow closer to some of my other female friends so that I do have that person locally to turn to, he encourages me to go out with them from time to time. He recognizes my needs and takes care of them.
Also - recognize the physical changes in one another (and I'm not talking sexuality here). We went through about a 1 1/2 yr. spell a few years back where we bickered...A LOT. Anyone who knows us knows that we just.don't.fight. EVER. So for us to be continuously bickering, to the point of some really nasty arguments that gave both of us some moments to not be proud of, something had to be wrong. It was during this time that I realized that something wasn't right when my dh was sleeping. I gently encouraged him to go to the dr., telling him what I was hearing. Turns out he has severe sleep apnea and will forever be on a cpap machine when he sleeps (his is not due to anything he can change). Had I not been in tune with everything, my dh could've died far too young, as the dr. told him that his is severe enough that w/out the machine, he could stroke out at night. :eek: Praise God that I was listening!
Within a month after getting his machine, we both noticed that we hadn't had a single argument - of course not - we were both getting sleep, and dh, more importantly, was getting oxygen! It was then that we sat back, had a long chat, and realized that during that time of insane bickering, neither of us were getting restful sleeps as a result of his apnea.
Anyway - this got longer than I planned. Bottom line - listen to God, listen to your heart, and be in tune with each other - both physically and emotionally. Know each others needs, communication styles, etc. Be best friends before you are lovers.