What are your feelings about adultery?

I was talking to a ex Mormon friend of mine today and we started talking about adultery. We have noticed that some religions will not accept you if you have committed adultery, for example. If a man is separated from his wife for 4 years but he lives with his girlfriend and cannot afford divorce. Also if a woman or man has children out of wedlock. What are your views on adultery? Do you still invite them to church or do you spit on them and walk away?

I dont try to deny anyone if they have committed Adultery… its there life…
and Adultery is an easy thing to fall into…

I don’t spit and walk away from anyone. Everyone is welcome to attend Catholic Mass, but cannot receive the Eucharist if in the state of mortal sin.

Spit on them and walk away? I have never heard of anyone who does this. I have heard of a local church body asking someone to stop attending because they flaunt their sin as if it was not sin and had no remorse.

If someone who committed the sin of adultery and wanted to start attending services, why would they be denied? Maybe they realize their sin and want to live a better life.

God forgives the repentant. The Catholic church is all for that.

Being an unmarried parent is not a sin. Having sex outside of marriage is a sin, but by the time one carries and bears a child, for all we know the sin may be repented, confessed and absolved. It is not my place to judge anyway.

As for a married man living with another woman, well, it depends. If they are chaste, living together as brother and sister, there is no problem at all. If they are living unchastely, most likely that would involve mortal sin. Someone in mortal sin is not “in full communion with the Church,” but such a person is not spat upon or shown the door. The Church welcomes sinners. The Church hopes, prays, and works for their salvation.

Due to the own personal circumstances of my life, I don’t consider adultery as “children/relations out of wedlock”. However, if we’re talking about cheating in a marriage, then there is no contest that it’s a pernicious act.


When the Corinthian man was living an open (incestuous?) relationship with his father’s wife (possibly his own mother) and boasting about it:

St. Paul told the Church at Corinth:

1st CORINTHIANS 5:1-2, 6a** 1 It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. . . . . 6 Your boasting is not good.

Do you think St. Paul’s admonition was correct?

Do you see this (“Let him who has done this be removed from among you”) as “spitting on this guy and walking away” or do you see it as a corrective admonition for this guy for the sake of his soul because you love him enough to correct him AND to protect the other members of this Church from this guy’s scandal (gravely sinful example)?

1st CORINTHIANS 6:9-10 9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.

An eternity of terrible unimaginable suffering would be a long time for this guy to be wrong. A fraternal correction in love may help save his soul. It would be an act of mercy to correct him.

I dont spit on anyone I dont like adultery it destroyed my parents marriage but I cant just judge anyone who has commited it it is a very easy sin to commit our lord said just looking lustily upon another is a form of adultery so Im sure about all of us have commited adultery of the heart,

Children out of wedlock well if the persons involved have never been married then its wrong but not adultery

And the church welcomes sinners back to God

Jesus himself protected a woman accused of adultery from death by stoning to show his mercy if we cannot show mercy upon others how are we being Christ like?

It depends on what you mean when you say “accept you if you have committed adultery.” I can accept that such a person is a human being that has fallen into sin but even so is still loved by God and should be loved by me as well. I can love that person, but part of loving someone is loving them enough to be truthful with them.

For example, a church must preach that adultery is wrong and that it is sinful. A church must call those who have committed such a sin to repentance. A church that does that is not “rejecting” that person no more than Christ was “rejecting” the woman caught in adultery when he saved her from being stoned yet still told her to “go and sin no more.” We should accept all people because Christ accepts all people, but the church cannot and must not ignore the sin in people’s lives.

Sin must be confronted.

Such a person is living in sin. If he loves his girlfriend, you’d think he’d respect her enough to not make her a party to his adultery.

This man needs to repent and get his life in order. He needs to be in church, of course. And the church should “accept him” as a human being deserving of compassion and respect. Yet, the church also needs to “accept” that until he ceases to live in adultery that he cannot be a member in good standing.

The church that calls people to repent of sin is not being “mean” or “nasty” or “cruel.” The truth is that by living in adultery, this man is bringing himself under the judgment of God. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

It would be far more crueler to not let this person know that he is living in sin and God will judge him for it.

We love them, and we certainly do not hold the sins of the mother or the father against the children. The children have done nothing wrong. To the parent(s), we love them, and we teach them that sex outside of marriage is wrong and encourage them to be married or live celibately.

Of course you invite them to church. They need church more than anything. However, until they show signs of repentance and a change in their lives, don’t expect them to be teaching Sunday School. :wink:

Invite them in

Perhaps it is not that a particular religion will “not accept them” but rather they are not willing to do what is necessary and cease sinning.

A man should not be “living with his girlfriend” regardless of whether or not he is married. A single man should also not cohabit or be in a sexual relationship. So, if the person is unwilling to repent and to change their ways and conform to Christ, perhaps they are not ready yet to join the community. It is not the community that is the problem, it is the unrepentent sinner’s idea that others should be OK with their sin that is the problem.

I am sure if the person in question stopped committing adultery they would be quite welcome.

A person who is in an adulterous relationship is welcome to attend Mass, welcome to come and learn about the Church, but not able to receive the sacraments until they amend their ways.

I guess that would depend upon whether or not the situation is past tense or present tense. If someone is living a publically immoral life, of course they are called to repent. If someone has mistakes in their past, I do not know of any church that rejects them on that basis.

The same as the Church’s. It’s a grave sin against God.

This is a false dichotomy. These are, of course, not the only two choices in the world.

We should share the Good News and invite them to repentance and conversion. We pray that they will amend their ways so that they can receive the sacraments.

Well… this rules out 99.99 percent of Humanity… that live over 20 something…

Just as well we have Scripture that say’s things like… even though ye have sinned,yet ye shall be saved.

can’t recall the verse,but goes a bit like that

It seems to me that the Lord Christ forgave many who committed adultery and repented of it, as well as even murder (Saint Paul at that!)

“I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” - Luke 5:32

There is a significant difference between hardness of heart (obstinate sinning without remorse and even “boasting” in your sin) and repentance for sins committed and turning away from sin.

Repentance itself involves grace. We don’t merely decide to repent all on our own.

2nd TIMOTHY 2:25b-26 God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, 26 and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Now is the acceptable time.

“Do not be deceived” St. Paul reminds us in the context of adultery.

No, we don’t.

And of course without repentance, which only God’s grace can bring into our hearts, we cannot receive the forgiveness.

I was mostly addressing my feelings about the original question in the thread…

You never spit on anyone, but walking away from someone isn’t always a bad idea.

Everyone should go to Catholic Mass at least once a week and be welcome, but what I am talking about is recognizing false sincerity and scandal. Some people are just bent on not changing their ways and those who are hard of heart maybe shouldn’t be going to Communion.

I’d like to say it’s a wonder why people even bother with such attitudes considering God knows all, but it happens. :shrug:

I’m sorry if I’m mistaken, but this part makes me seriously wonder if this is a real post.

St. Paul isn’t referring to anyone who has ever committed any one of the sins he lists at some time or another in their lives. Rather, he is referring to those who remain unrepentant of their sin, and die in that state of unrepentance. Indeed, even though we have sinned, yet we shall be saved; however, that salvation depends on repenting of those sins, attempting to conform our lives to Christ, and repenting* again when we fall and commit sins in the future.

*Of course, when I say “repent” in this context I mean sacramental confession and absolution from a priest.

Everything you described is adultery and is a mortal sin but of course they’re welcomed to the church. In the Catholic church it is recommended to go to confession though which will help them feel more welcomed if they don’t already.

Thank you… Well said…

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